I’ve told you about my nursing struggles and how they’ve led to Avery’s lack of weight gain. Avery is a very distracted baby. She wants to know what is going on around her at all times. Unfortunately that has turned her into a distracted nurser and has her rather uninterested in nursing at all while she is awake. The only time that I can truly get a great nursing session in is late at night when I wake her to nurse before I go to bed and early in the morning when she needs a good feeding before falling back asleep for another hour. The rest of our day is pure chaos.
I was beginning to lose hope in our nursing journey. I planned on nursing her to a year and then slowly wean her because it would be much easier for the both of us. It’s easy for me to get frustrated when she doesn’t want to nurse and she gets frustrated with me when I keep trying to keep her focused on nursing.
Today, though, we had a breakthrough. Just when I thought I was at the end of my rope, Avery nursed every single session without getting distracted or unlatching. No fighting, no trying to find a quiet space in the apartment so that she wouldn’t have anything to keep her distracted, nothing. Just 15 uninterrupted minutes of breastfeeding.
It was a breath of fresh air. A feeling that I haven’t felt for far too long. As much as I love the bond that we experience during breastfeeding, it was beginning to feel much more like a chore than something that I looked forward to. Today I fell in love with breastfeeding again. We were both relaxed, Avery was as happy as could be and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. For the first time in a very long time, we were both in sync.
So now that leads me to wonder. Was this all a phase that we’ve been going through for the past couple of months? Or was today a grand day that we were just both in the right place and just happened to have really great nursing sessions? Tomorrow will tell. But I pray that this becomes the norm again. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.
As I nursed her for the last time today, I looked at her and smiled. It was a smile that meant so much more than she could have ever comprehended. One that meant a sense of relief, a sense of accomplishment, and one of pure joy.
More from Lauren on Baby’s First Year:
- 10 Ways to Make Dressing a Squirmy Baby Easier
- 12 Ways to Beat the Winter Blues With Your Baby
- 10 Toys My Baby and My Toddler Play With
- My Favorite Photos from Avery’s 10th Month
- 13 Ways I Want to Become a Better Mother in 2013
- 12 Favorite Avery Moments of 2012
Read more from Lauren at her personal blog, A Mommy in the City, where she chronicles her life living in New York City with a suburban mentality. For more updates, follow Lauren on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram! Check out more of Lauren’s Babble posts at Being Pregnant and Baby’s First Year.