There are a lot of things people say to you to try to prepare you for motherhood! Sleep now – you’ll never feel rested again. You’re going to be covered in poop and drool soon enough. Showering will become a luxury.
While all those things are absolutely true, hearing them doesn’t really do much to actually get you ready for the real deal. I was playing with my two month old today when I had one of those parenting moments that should make you cry, so instead you just laugh.
I was reading a parenting magazine recently with some suggestions for exercises that new moms can do with their babies. One of them was to lay on your back and bend your knees, resting baby on your legs like an assisted airplane. Then you rock back and forth, working your abs while your baby laughs and squeals with delight.
Cullen loved it! He smiled and gurgled and made goofy faces while I held onto his little arms and got my ab workout on. And then it happened…
In one moment my baby was smiling and laughing at me, and in the next all I saw was projectile vomit headed straight for my face. I was completely shocked!
I rolled sideways on the bed and laid Cullen down, all while keeping my eyes and mouth closed since they were dripping in nastiness. I was able to navigate the familiar path to my master bathroom and quickly grab a washcloth so I could breathe again. With my eyes opened up, I looked quickly over to Cullen who was happy as a clam in the middle of the bed, kicking and dancing. And then I glanced back to the bathroom mirror to see that I had a head covered in baby vomit.
It should have made me cry, or at least made me gag, but all I could do was laugh. Sometimes being a mom feels so ridiculous. I reached up to wipe it off, but first snapped a quick camera phone picture to document the evidence.
Thankfully this was the one day each week that my husband was working from home. I walked downstairs where he was on a work conference call, and watched his face turn to shock and then hysterical laughter as he tried to maintain composure while starting at my barf bun. As soon as he was off the phone, I handed Cullen over (who also needed a new outfit), and begged for 15 minutes to go take another shower. As if finding time in the day for one shower isn’t hard enough, what mom has time for two!?
When all was said and done, we both got cleaned up, and I learned my lesson in too much airplane too soon after lunch. As a first-time mom, I’m learning new lessons in parenting day by day. I’ve had my days where I have most definitely cried, but it’s always so much better if I can just find a way to laugh.