Going From One to Two Kids? 7 Hilarious Parent Bloggers Weigh InAlice Gomstyn
Have you gone through this period? That unexpected calm in the eye of the storm of early parenthood? Maybe it’s around the eight-month mark when they can play by themselves but aren’t necessarily crawling all over the house. Maybe it’s closer to age 3 and you can leave them alone in the living room for 15 minutes without worrying about them using the curtain rods to play Tarzan.
But at some point, I think many of us arrive at the feeling of, “This is really manageable. I’ve totally got it covered. I’m fairly certain I could handle HAVING ANOTHER ONE.”
It’s a commendable feeling. If you want another one and feel ready, go for it! I’ve written about the joys of siblings before and I love being a mom to two little boys myself — except for the times when I’m cajoling one to stop feeding crayons to the other.
Speaking of which, as many parents can attest, the transition from one to two ain’t easy. (Though, as you’ll see below, at least one mom didn’t find the one-to-two transition that daunting. Oh Devan, you contrarian, you!)
Of course, everything is made better with humor, so I asked the funniest parents I know to complete the sentence “Going from one to two kids was like … ” Here’s what they had to say — brace yourself for a hilarious dose of the truth. Then go ahead and start on making a second human being … just don’t claim we didn’t warn you!
‘Made’ a Friend … to Wrestle
“Going from one kid to two was like the stupidest thing I ever did. I mean not really because I LOVE my second even more than my first, wait, uhhh, did I say that out loud? Well, today he was my favorite. But it was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so glad we did it, though, because we basically ‘made’ a best friend for our daughter, a best friend she can dress up and torture and wrestle and make cry.”
An Obstacle Course With Potty Breaks
“Going from one to two kids (after 10 years) is like getting ¾ the way through the course on American Ninja Warrior, and then voluntarily letting go and choosing to start over on a more challenging course, with less energy and more bladder control issues.”
—Andrea Wada Davies of The Evolution of Annie
Are You Ready for Some Football?
“Going from one to two kids is like going from playing high school ball to the NFL. One day you’re making it into the end zone, the next you’re getting your head shoved into the turf by some 300-pound defensive end. Only in this metaphor you now have to change the diaper of that defensive end. Is this metaphor over yet?”
—Lyz Lenz of LyzLenz.com
Good Morning, Sunshine
“Going from one kid to two is like waking up at 4 AM to the sound of a bed-puker, cleaning up vomit, doing three loads of laundry, and sterilizing the whole house while building a blanket fort, making toast, and planning dinner. Literally. That was my morning. All of that happened before 8 AM”
—Johi Kokjohn-Wagner of Confessions of a Corn Fed Girl
Double the Fun?
“Going from one to two kids is like … a dream. A dream I dreamed in the few weeks between finding out I was pregnant with my second, and finding out I was actually pregnant with my second—and third.”
—Nicole Leigh Shaw of Ninja Mom Blog
No Time Off for Good Behavior
“Going from one to two kids is like going from eligible for parole to life in prison.”
—Chris Illuminati of Message With a Bottle
“Going from one to two kids is like a little relief after going from zero to one kid. At least now the older one can watch the younger one while I go pee. Or at least give each other company while they scream for the two minutes it takes me until I’m done.”
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