I had a fabulous Mother’s Day. My kids made me homemade cards. Brooklyn painted a wooden pin for me in preschool. Lexi and Clay brought me flowers they’d planted in school, and Clay made me a dandelion bracelet. It was a gorgeous, 70-degree day and I sat my butt down outside and enjoyed the weather with my kids for a couple hours.
The kids offered to wash my car. I was thrilled because there’s so much disgustingness in there, I’m afraid a family of squirrels has taken up residence in the third row. You probably think I’m joking. But I’m scared. I just know I’ll be driving along one day when, much like the squirrel that leapt from the tree onto Clark in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, a squirrel is going to fly out from the back of my van and land on my head, causing me to swerve across several lanes of traffic while I scream like a little girl. I’ll slam on my brakes in the middle of the intersection and stumble from my car while running in circles, freaking out about the squirrel on my head. If my kids hadn’t cleaned out my van today, I have no doubt you’d be able to see footage of my squirrel incident on the news this week because it was only a matter of time until it actually happened.
So they dragged the vacuum cleaner outside and left it there. They pulled all the hockey, softball, and baseball equipment out of the back while cleaning up the garbage, but conveniently forgot to return the sports bags back to my car. They plopped the bag of garbage on the ground in my front yard. They slathered soap on my vehicle and then got bored before rinsing it off. But, on the bright side, I think they scared all the woodland critters out of my van. I guess you’ll know for sure if you don’t see me on the news doing a squirrels-in-my-pants dance in the middle of a busy intersection this week.
And finally,just to illustrate my point on the differences between boys and girls, they made some chalk drawings on the driveway . . .
Can you tell which drawings are Brooklyn’s and which one is Clay’s?
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!
Want to read more from Dawn? Whether you’re thinking about having kids, you’re pregnant now, or you’ve ever been pregnant, you’ll love her popular, You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and Other Lies About Pregnancy and Childbirth)!
Read Because I Said So because, well, because I said so!