This past week, Tori Spelling told the world that she’s expecting her fourth child — 5 months after having her third child, Hattie.
Last year, I found out I was pregnant … 8 months after having our third child.
Having a baby while having a baby is, well, an adventure.
While I know that these 2 boys of ours that are 16 months apart will be the best (and worse) of friends for life, being pregnant and then having a baby while still raising another one led to some challenges.
If you are thinking of having kids fairly close together, here are a few of the struggles I had of having a baby while having a baby.
Carrying a Baby While Pregnant
I had to stop carrying our third, Izaiah when he was around 14 months. It was the beginning of my third trimester and I just couldn’t do it anymore.
While I fortunately didn’t suffer too much nausea while pregnant with Zeke, changing dirty diapers set off my gag reflex.
The fourth pregnancy did me in, energy-wise. I was constantly in a state of exhaustion and with a little one who just wanted to play, I felt like such a bad mom. Our third is psychical and that’s how he shows love, so it killed me not being able to play with him!
While delivery was the easiest for our fourth, the recovery was terrible. It was a good 6 weeks before I felt SOMEWHAT normal. Not being able to carry my third baby was so hard, so resorted to sitting with him in my lap as much as he would stay put.
When Zeke was born, our third was 16 months and that was the perfect age to totally not understand WHAT was going on, but to know he was NO longer the center of everyone’s attention. This led to months of sibling jealousy. (See stepping on baby)
I truly wanted each child to be able to be THE baby and enjoy attention and love. I felt guilty and like our third was robbed of several months of time that should of been his time in the spotlight. We have loved him to pieces since the day he was born, but with a baby on the way, naturally attention was diverted when his little brother arrived.
Like Tori, we totally wanted a big family — so the idea of a fourth didn’t freak me out. What DID freak me out was the idea of having 2 babies 16 months apart In our ideal world we were going to try for that fourth when our third turned 24 months (coincidentally, thats this month).
Life happened — and now with an 8 month old and a 24 month old, I am happy to report that people do survive having babies so close together, it isn’t easy … but now we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Everyone is looking for the perfect “how much time between kids” answer. Personally, I think God gives you what will work best for your family — though there are some days that I think He is crazy.
Do You Have Babies Close in Age?