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He Took Me Back

breastfeeding a six month oldLast week at this time, I was just getting back from a five day trip to New York City. I only had one real concern about leaving the family for that long, and it was whether or not baby Paul would still continue to breastfeed when I got back.

I’m not sure why I was so anxious about him not taking me back when I returned, I had no real reason to think that he would refuse me just five days later. In the years past, I had oftentimes left my other children for a few days when they were around his age, and they always breastfed when I returned.

But with Paul, it was a serious source of anxiety leading up to and during the trip. And I think I know exactly why…You see, he’s my last baby. And when breastfeeding is done for him, it’s done for me as well. After Paul, I will never nurse another baby. And at this point, I’m just not ready to give it up yet.

But I pushed my worried down deep, and went on the trip. While I was away, he took a combination of frozen expressed breast milk and formula. While I had a fair amount of milk stashed away, I absolutely did not have five days worth. So when the breast milk ran out, formula bottles it became.

While away, my breast pump came with me wherever I went. I have the Hygeia EnJoye, and very much recommend it to any breastfeeding mama I know. And everyday, I pumped every 3-4 hours. Hotel rooms, Airport restrooms, restaurant power rooms, I was pumping.

On the 5th day, when I finally returned home at 2am, the first thing I did after setting my luggage down was grab my baby and nurse him. And of course, my fears were quietly dismissed when he took me back.

Thankfully, all that worrying for nothing. I should have had more faith in my baby, and in my own body. I’m so glad to be home, back to our regularly scheduled comfortable routine.

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