13 Ways My Babies Try to Give Me a Heart Attack

Just when I thought I was passed the newborn heart attack of “is-she-breathing-are-you-sure-maybe-we-should-wake-her-up,” my daughters have upped the ante. Now, they crawl and fall and pull things down on their heads. And that’s just what they do alone. Together, they pull each others’ hair, knock one another over and play “How many times can I touch your eyeball before you scream?” I anticipate biting any day now!

  • Picking Up Trash in the Street 1 of 13
    smaller

    "Wait, NO, put that down!" Quick little legs and hands close to the ground and a curious mind equals attempts at grabbing everything. Cigarette butts, bottle caps, a chunk of asphalt.  Hand sanitizer is my best friend.

  • Hiding 2 of 13
    file0001454539009

    I absolutely cannot deal with having the babies out of my sight in public so, usually, I keep them in the stroller or carry them. However, there are times we are at a friend's home, doctor's office or the foster agency and one of my daughters thinks hiding behind a copy machine is hilarious. I disagree.

  • Pretending to Choke 3 of 13
    file0001184354524

    You know what I'm talking about.  It's when your baby goes completely silent and stops moving or stops chewing their food. My brains rushes through the baby CPR and safety procedures. "Clementine, are you OK!? Are you breathing!? What are you doing, are you OK!?" and then she usually laughs and I collapse to the floor.

  • Overstuffing her Mouth With Food 4 of 13
    file0001626152910

    Back to my choking fear. Balancing my daughter's need to learn to feed--and moderate--her own bites, combined with my own insistence that she not stuff anything down her breathing tube results in S.T.R.E.S.S.  If it was possible to bottle feed the first five years of her life, I would have taken that option in a heartbeat!

  • Demanding To Climb Up High 5 of 13
    file0001275939808

    So, this one is 100% my fault because I let them do it if they scream hard enough. I totally enable them. "What's that, baby? You want to stand on top of the ladder? Well, only if you hold on to mommy and let me help you." Why do I do it to myself?

  • Mysterious Red Patches of Skin 6 of 13
    DSC_5676

    Is it dry skin? An allergic reaction? Did something bite her? Is she sunburnt? Why is there only one red streak here on her arm? Is it toxic epidermal necrolysis? (Warning: Do not Google this and add unnecessary stress to your day.) You get the idea. Rash panic is the worst.

  • Grabbing Things From the Moving Stroller 7 of 13
    file000477941231

    Putting their arms out of the stroller or shopping cart to grab things. It's a miracle no one has snapped their little arm off. The worst was when one of my daughters reached out to grab a shelf when I wasn't looking. I felt the little tug just in time to stop the cart.  Whew!

  • Sticking Her Fingers in the Seatbelt Clips 8 of 13
    file00047256199

    I'm terrified of pinching my daughters' skin when I'm buckling them in the car seat, high chair, shopping cart, you name it. Squirming and crying doesn't help. I can't tell if I've pinched her or not.

  • Standing Up in the Bathtub 9 of 13
    file0001316168849

    "Sit down, baby girl. Sit down.  It's not safe, you need to sit down.  SIT. DOWN." All of the slipping and sliding all over the place. "If you want bubbles, you have to sit down." "You'll have to get out if you don't sit down. SIT. DOWN."  Eventually, it worked and my 14-month-old sits down really nicely now. It's all about to start over again for me though with my 10-month-old just learning to crawl.

  • Walking Out the Front Door 10 of 13
    file0001076271565

    At only 13 months old, one of my daughters reached up to the front door knob, opened the door and walked out. I quietly followed her and watched in horror as she pushed the elevator door button and boarded (that's when I grabbed her). We know always bolt the door, but she'll be able to reach that soon, too.

  • Grabbing Strangers’ Dogs 11 of 13
    100753933[4]

    Need I say more?

  • Don’t Sit on Her! 12 of 13
    DSC_6402

    My 14-month-old is all about backing up and sitting in people's laps with the hope that you'll read her a book.  It's adorable.  That is, until she tries to sit in the lap of her much smaller 10-month-old sister, Clementine. Clementine loves it and is all "Weeeee!" but it's a disaster in the making.

  • Opening Umbrellas 13 of 13
    file000222285018

    We keep our umbrella out of reach at home but those pokey steel sticks covered with a tarp are everywhere.  Restaurants, stores, other people's homes--my daughter can always find one and BAM open it.  So frightening!

Also from Rebecca this month:

Love, Eventually (6 months to be exact)

The Surprising Place To Find Unique Baby Names

6 Ways My Adopted Daughter Is Just Like Her Biological Brother

Judge Allows “Just Friends” to Adopt Together

Why I Won’t Be Taking My Babies Out In The Snow Today

Would You Let Your Child’s Birthparents Move In?

 

All photos courtesy of MorgueFile

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , ,

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.