Right now. I am, that is.
Let me say that again …
I can’t remember the last time this happened. Oh wait, I can. It was exactly 6 years 7 months and 3 days ago when I had my first child.
This morning I dropped Little Bean off to a friend of a friend’s house who runs a small home day care.
It was hard, yet … exciting.
I feel free yet … guilty.
I’m worried yet … relieved.
Man! Being a mom is sometimes hard and confusing and emotional.
I left a noticeably confused little boy. He looked at the other kids with curious hesitation. He’s been home alone with me for 10 months now. We play and when Big Brother comes home from school he’s amused by a very goofy 6-year-old, but this is his first experience around a group of kids varying in age from 18 months to 5.
I know it will be good for him and I’m happy he’ll get this chance to socialize. If all works out today I’m considering committing to 2 days a week. That would give me 2 full 6-hour work days, something I haven’t had in well over a year.
I know it’s best and it’s something I want to do yet I still feel guilty.
What can I say? I was raised Catholic.