How to Survive Christmas with a Newborn
Is it possible to enjoy holiday fun with a newborn?
A guest post from Being Pregnant‘s Ceridwen Morris and Rebecca Odes:
The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, but for a new mom with a needy new baby, things can get nuts. If you’re one for elaborate decorating, cooking, baking and entertaining, it can be frustrating to feel tethered to the couch nursing, carrying a baby who won’t be put down, or stuck on a frequent feeding and napping schedule. And regardless of any other details, the exhaustion that’s pretty much an inevitable part of new motherhood can make the always-daunting tasks of holiday cheer-creation seem that much more impossible.
Here are a few tips to help you make it through the holiday party season in your new reality.
1. Take care of your baby — and yourself — first.
If your first responsibility is your baby, your second should be yourself. If you get yourself into a situation where you’re feeling pressured into being a frequent and festive guest (or worse, a hostess responsible for everyone else’s good time) you’re likely to crack under the unrealistic pressure. You will need to adjust your expectations about what you can do and how much help you’ll need to do it. You may have to disappoint some people, and they may be bummed out, but they’ll probably understand.
2. Prioritize
Think realistically about what you can handle, then try to create a situation where you can make it happen. If your apple pie is a core part of the family festivities, get your partner to take the kid while you make one. If your usual contribution is a four course Christmas dinner, or a gingerbread castle handcrafted from scratch, you may have to scale things back for now.
3. Forget flawless.
With a baby, you’re lucky if you can put a slice of cheese between two pieces of bread. So it is best to keep your expectations in perspective. No matter how successfully you channel Martha Stewart, you will not successfully produce a party at Martha Stewart level of perfection with a new baby to care for. Unless, of course, you have Martha Stewart level of financial resources and have hired a particularly enterprising staff. And even then, I’d have my doubts.
4. Remember: This is temporary.
It might feel sad to abandon tradition for the time being. And next Christmas might feel like a lifetime away. Not that planning a party with a toddler is much easier, but next year you’ll be in a whole different place for party planning. If you fail to live up to your reputation as the family hostess with the mostess, this one year, no one will care. (If they do, you’ve got bigger problems). There will be lots of times to deck the halls in the future… and in a few years, you’ll have some extra little hands to help instead of having your hands full of baby!
Can I add to item no. 1 – they may not understand (with my IL’s, they just don’t), but the fact that they don’t “get it” is not your problem, so do not make it such.
Thank you for this! I am waiting to be charged with child neglect for not putting up my Christmas tree this year!
Thanks so much for this! I’m a first time mom with a 3 month old and I keep thinking that I’m the only one who isn’t able to keep up my old household activities while caring for my son. So glad to know I’m not the only one! It is also really reassuring to hear that it gets better and I will be able to bake cookies again one day!
My second child was born December 18th and I was so lucky to have the best MIL and husband around! It was a rough pregnancy with me being put on bedrest by Halloween and we felt so lucky to have him arrive safely exactly one week before Christmas. My daughter, who was 2 1/2 at the time, attended a company Christmas party with her Dad and all I had to do was be very happy new mom. My MIL made Christmas dinner and both my MIL and husband did all the shopping for me! That newborn just turned 11 and I am still the luckiest mom around!