Addison is 11 weeks old, already! It seems like it all has just flown by, and I think it is partly because of my birth experience this time around as opposed to the births of my sons.
If you had told me two years ago, or even a year ago that I would have been glad to have a scheduled c-section, or that I would even opted to have a c-section at all, I would have kindly, or probably not so kindly told you that you were some kind of looney toon. Yet two years after my failed VBAC with my middle son, I am here.
Looking back on it all, I wouldn’t have changed anything we planned, which originally was a scheduled c-section for May 3rd, which turned into May 2nd because of a scheduling mix up. But on the night of Friday April 29th, I stood up in my living room at 10:30 at night, mind you… a living room full of friends having pizza and beer, and my water broke. To this day I say that my little girl who was almost destined to get a emerald birth stone simply wanted to be like her mother and score diamonds. Like Marilyn Monroe sang :
But square cut or pear shape these rocks don’t lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend
But really, all joking aside. Reflecting about it all 11 weeks later has made me realize how truly satisfied I was this time around. One of the biggest things I believe made a difference to me was the fact that I was in control! While I couldn’t control exactly when she came, which was really the only aspect of it I couldn’t. I was blessed to have an OB/GYN I knew in the OR with me, the labor and delivery nurse I had when I labored 2 years previously at the same hospital, and the resident I had maintained a friendship with over the two years since I birthed there. And the luck of the draw just so happened that the resident wouldn’t have been there had Little Miss A waited till Monday for her scheduled c-section date.
I was able to say when I got to the hospital, I want my epidural, I want to sleep, and while it sounds selfish, the words I want is what helped to make the experience much more pleasant. Being out of control was the biggest problem both times around with my sons. I had no control, I felt attacked by my own body, and providers like in the case of my oldest. There was no comfort, it was pain, physically and emotionally.
And while clearly having a c-section is not a walk through the park, or pain free. Having the planned aspect, and not laboring long before the cesarean itself I believe made a huge difference in my recovery. By the time my 4 days in the hospital were over, I was off of all pain medication, walking without an issue, and come the following Monday morning, when Addison was a whole 9 days old, I was ready to care for all three of my children, alone as my husband returned to work.
I am not an advocate for scheduled c-sections, but I am a realist that knows, sometimes they are necessary, and for me, it is just the way I needed to birth. Even with a baby a little over 5 pounds, two full pounds smaller than either of my previous children, she couldn’t even make it into my pelvic outlet. While I am heartbroken over not getting to experience vaginal delivery I am completely satisfied this time around, unlike with my two previous births.
If women are in a situation like I was, they should be able to embrace their situation, and make the best of it, because I promise… it will make a world of difference!
As my little porketta is nearing three months old, I couldn’t have imagined it all any other way.
How did you feel about your birth experience three months later?