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In Which I Admit I Am Kind of Co-Sleeping With My Baby

By Monica Bielanko |

No, we don't let Henry co-sleep with the dog. Max just babysits during the day.

I can hear the thrum of the furnace as it kicks on. Good, it’s cold tonight, I think as I reflexively reach down and clutch my son’s tiny feet in one hand. His socks have fallen off for the third or fourth time tonight. I’m glad he’s tucked in beside me so I can keep him warm.

Co-sleeping or bedsharing is seemingly as controversial as drinking while pregnant. Supporters think mama’s bed is where baby belongs. It promotes bonding, enables the parents to get more sleep and makes breastfeeding convenient. The other side of the fence questions if it’s safe. In fact, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warns parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds, stating that the practice puts babies at risk of suffocation and strangulation. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) agrees.

You’ve heard the horror stories. In Utah, where I live, a couple was even charged with murder for co-sleeping with their son.

However, co-sleeping is standard practice in many parts of the world outside North America, Europe and Australia where the co-sleeping death rate appears to be much lower, perhaps because of different sleeping situations regarding mattresses and bedding. In many parts of the world, bed-sharing simply has the practical benefit of keeping the child warm at night.

Clearly, considering some of the infant deaths reported in the United States, co-sleeping and adult beds can be made to be safer. This would be a much more appropriate service for the Consumer Product Safety Commission to provide, rather than just warning against co-sleeping. Responsible parents consciously creating a safe co-sleeping environment are safely providing the best of all worlds for their baby. One 2004 study reported mothers getting more sleep by co-sleeping and breastfeeding than by other arrangements. This is how my co-sleeping experience with Henry began.

I never had Violet in my bed. She was my first baby and she just seemed too tiny. I was afraid I’d hurt her, not realizing that a new mom never really sleeps – even when she’s sleeping. I put her in a bassinet next to my bed and would wake up at the slightest sound. I could hear – no, not so much hear as sense when her binky fell noiselessly from her lips. I could tell, without looking, when she was awake because of the difference in her breathing patterns. My point is, I was never at peace. My body was constantly on alert. At about two months-old she was nearly sleeping through the night so I moved her to a crib in her own room so I could attempt to get some sleep and stop listening so hard.

My experience with Henry has been totally different. He doesn’t like the bassinet that Violet slept in. So I put him in his crib, which he apparently enjoys – for the first half of the night. But the little guy gets restless around four in the morning. It got to the point that he wouldn’t really go back to sleep after that 3:30 or 4am breastfeeding. One night, in my frustration, I brought him to my bed and snuggled with him. He was asleep in two seconds. Literally two seconds. He didn’t wake up until seven at which point I was able to lie on my side while he breastfed. Best night ever.

Am I worried I’ll roll on my son? No. Do I pile big fluffy blankets and pillow around him? No. He’s flat on the mattress with me next to him. Even while sleeping I’m hyper-aware of the fact that he’s there. As aware as I was with Violet next to me in a bassinet. Like I said, a mother never sleeps, even when she’s sleeping. Is that a new term? Did I just coin a new term? And I’ll tell you something else: I love it. I love cuddling with my little guy who only has to sense my face next to his and he drops off to sleep. I’m remorseful that I missed the opportunity to bond with Violet in that way.

It’s strange, but I think that I’m better able to soothe Henry during the day because I co-sleep with him for those few hours in the morning. Sometimes, when he fusses I just put my face super close to his, like I do in bed, and use the pad of my thumb to stroke the spot right between his eyes and he is immediately quiet, sometimes sighing with pleasure. I just feel so much more in tune with this little guy, which I guess is all that bonding proponents of co-sleeping talk about.

Throughout this first year with my son I want to be flexible enough to shift nighttime parenting styles as circumstances change. Every family goes through nocturnal juggling acts at different stages of children’s development. I am trusting my intuition about parenting my individual baby instead of unquestionably accepting the norms of American society.

So yes. There you have it. In spite of being warned by dozens of well-meaning people that I’m probably going to suffocate my child, I’m co-sleeping. Aside from eliminating fluffy bedding and pillows, there are several products that can be used to facilitate safe co-sleeping with an infant:

  • bed top co-sleeping products designed to prevent the baby from rolling off the adult bed and to absorb breastmilk and other nighttime leaks.
  • side rails to prevent the child from rolling off the adult bed.
  • co-sleeping infant enclosures which are placed directly in the adult bed.
  • bassinets that attach to the side of an adult bed, and which have barriers on three sides, but are open to the parent’s side

Mostly, I’d just advise folks to do what they’re comfortable doing. For me, for now, that’s co-sleeping. Millions of moms in third-world countries can’t be wrong, right?

Tell me what you think. What are the sleeping arrangements in your home?

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About Monica Bielanko


Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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45 thoughts on “In Which I Admit I Am Kind of Co-Sleeping With My Baby

  1. traci whitney says:

    I did it with 3 kids – including twins! And that was more our of pure necessity than anything. But with my daughter it was bliss. Of course crazy accidents happen, but if you listened to everything you heard your baby would never get any sleep (tummy sleeping, sids, etc)! The most important thing to know is what your own limits are. I don’t think someone who can sleep through a tornado going through their house would be wise to co-sleep, for example.

    There are also lots of studies that say co-sleeping is beneficial to babies and their development!

  2. Agnieszka says:

    I agree, I have slept with my son till he was about 1,5 yo, now with my daughter of 3 months. Parents’ presence not only helps the baby sleep in my opinion but I’ve read specialists’ opinions on that it increases the baby’s self confidence and stimulates his psychical growth. I advice co-sleeping to every parents, as long as it doesn’t rule the hubby out of bed though.

  3. Rosstwinmom says:

    Now that my twins are three, I long to sleep next to them. Now I only get to do it when they are sick. I’m sad I listened to the advice books about sleep training. I was too scared to let my baby sleep with me because some book made me feel like that would make them never learn to sleep on their own. So silly. Trust your Mommy instincts. Love on those babies!!!

  4. Bayley says:

    Also “guilty” of this. My 3-week-old son will not tolerate sleeping on his own for more than one 2-hour shift per night. We have 3 kinds of co-sleeping aids (the tiny SnuggleNest, large-size Arms Reach Co-Sleeper, and a medium sized bassinet that could go anywhere), and so far they serve only as a holding cell for all his accoutrements. Bottom line, he wants to be near mom (or dad, but mom’s got the real goodies), and we all live much more peacefully because we listen to what he needs. We try to get him to sleep on his back in the SnuggleNest every night, and maybe one day he’ll comply, but for now the only way for any of us to get a wink is to sleep him on his side, facing me. I have never had a rolling-over issue; like you say, a mother is always partially awake and definitely aware of the baby at her side. It works for us for now, and damn if he’s not the sweetest thing to wake up to in the morning!

  5. Lee says:

    My son is 3mths old and LOl–Bayley, we have all the same stuff–snugglenest, arms reach (though ours is the mini) and bassinet. We leave the bassinet in the living room. The arms-reach holds all his “stuff” and my alarm clock. The snugglenest we actually use because it allows me to roll over from one side to another without waking him up. But, just about every morning around 4am when he snurfles awake…but not really awake…I slide him out of the snugglenest into my arms and we cuddle for a couple of hours. It’s just like Monica described–he gets all comfy and then: CONK–out like a light. I love that. I don’t know what I’ll do when he outgrows the snugglenest–I’m already plotting ways I can cut off the bumper at the bottom to give me more leg room/buy a little more time.
    We will probably start thinking about transitioning him to the crib once his older brother moves out of the crib (he just turned 2), but with all of us sleeping really well right now–we’re just not in a hurry about it.

  6. gwyn says:

    Yep, i’m a co-sleeper too, just because it feels natural to me, not because I have any big idea that it’s “best” or anything like that. But I do have to say that it is perfectly safe to sleep with babies, likely safer than sleeping in a crib (remember SIDS used to be called “crib death”) as long as the parent(s) is not impaired in anyway (drugged, even perscription, sleep disorders, etc) and bedding is appropriate.

  7. Gaby says:

    I kind of did it with my two oldest, not even knowing that I was doing it. With oldest, who’s now 15 I heard of all those good intentionated opinions that I shouldn’t let her sleep with me, and the hardest I fought it the hardest she clung to my bed. It was only when I relaxed and let it be that she found her place and soon after went to her own bed. This took me 5 years.

    So for my baby girl, who’s now 4, I did it a little different. I was way into the attachment parenting thing and loved it, but the main thing that led me to cosleep was that when she was 2 weeks old, she was lying in her bassinet, and I could tell because or her moves and her respiration that she was awake. So I laid in my bed next to the bassinet waiting for her to fall asleep, but she wouldn’t. I dont know what compelled me, but I when to check and she was choking. Turns out she had reflux and was choking and when I got to her she was already purple. That was it for me. Just to think what would have happened if I had decided that she would just eventually fall asleep, which would have been not difficult since I was EXTREMELY tired, my god.

    Besides, there’s all that you’re saying. The closeness, the bond, the soooo much better sleep -I can tell you that from that moment on, I never knew what it was to “have a baby” in terms of losing sleep-. So great.

  8. Sara says:

    We’re in almost the same situation. My husband and I were anti-cosleeping until my son was 2 days old. Then we realized that co-sleeping meant we actually got to sleep sometimes, and now we do it happily. Graham is almost 8wks and we’re transitioning him to his crib during naps and at the beginning of the night, but he almost aways makes his way back into our bed after the 3am feeding.

  9. beckster says:

    I have co-slept with all three of my children and I am glad I did. My two older are both strong sleepers (4 and 2 years old). My seven-month-old is still nursing and it is nice to be able to roll over and calm her when she wakes up at night instead of having to get up and trudge to another room. Another perk – you don’t need to waste money on a crib!

  10. fahrenheit says:

    i did it with both my children, who are now 25 and 27. they still live with us…

    ok, i am kidding, but one can only wonder about the long-term effects… here’s another topic for you monica!

  11. Naomi says:

    My experience sounds exactly like yours, and in fact was in the process of writing about it when I saw your post!! We do the first half of the night in the crib too.

  12. Elissa says:

    I co-sleep for afternoon naps sometimes (I used to do it every day that we were home), when are travelling, and when my husband is away. I know this sounds awful, but I get very little sleep with three of us in the bed because my husband is such a heavy sleeper. I fear that the babe will roll out of the bed on one side, or get squashed by my husband on the other! However, I think co-sleeping is great, and certainly agree that more help to make it safe would be smarter and safety than just saying, ‘ don’t do it’. I guess it’s like the difference between providing sex education or just towing the abstinence line: either way teens have sex with each other, just one way they are more likely to get pregnant our catch STDs.

  13. Elissa says:

    Also, I think it is my favourite feeling when my big smelly old face is right next to his and he rolls over, breathes me in and goes straight to sleep. It’s a totally different satisfaction from the feeling of getting him to sleep in his cot. Even if its not every night, I’m so glad that I got to experience it.

  14. Jennifer H says:

    We happily co sleep. As a first time mother, I was terrified to do what my body and brain told me to do those first months – I kept him in the bassinet, like everyone said, and I barely slept. After three months, I gave in and listened to my brain… but only for naps. We got blissful sleep during the day, but nada practically at night. At 4 months, he came to bed with me. At 10 months, we haven’t looked back. I get sleep. He gets sleep. He’s safe and protected. I do wish I’d listened to my gut instinct those first months (though I would’ve used a side-car style cosleeper then probably, since they are so bitty then!), but live and learn!

  15. Heather says:

    Guilty of it here too! My husband and I swore we wouldn’t co-sleep. Our firstborn son was stillborn and we were terrified that our next child, our miracle daughter, would die at some point too. But once we had her home, there were so many times I fell asleep while breastfeeding her in my arms. I put her in bassinet when I’d wake up, horrified that I could have suffocated her with my monstrously engorged boobs. Eventually, she slept on my chest and then she was on the bed between my hubby and I. We got a reclined infant positioner and put it between us and she stayed put. All 3 of us loved it immediately and we all slept a little better. Once she could wiggle off the positioner and could roll over to cuddle with one of us though, we decided it was time to go to her own bassinet and back on her AngelCare Motion Sensor Monitor. I did love co-sleeping while we did it and will do it again with this next baby. I’m looking into getting the First Years Close & Secure sleeper so maybe we can co-sleep a little longer. during the day, our daughter was in her crib for naps (and on the angelcare monitor). Rambling now, but we were just so surprised by how much we enjoyed having our baby in bed with us!

  16. anon says:

    happened to my nephew and he can never be brought it really worth the risk just so you can get your sleep??

  17. Ruby says:

    We started off trying to let her sleep in the bassinet. But I wasn’t sleeping much at all as I was awake every five seconds. Then Joe would take her into the bed with us. I was afraid of this as I was still on medications and thought I would roll onto her. We were successfully getting sleep from then on and I’d just nurse her beside me when she woke. Now I’m able to lay her in the bassinet and she only wakes once in the night. At 7 am I bring her into bed with me when Joe leaves for work and we sleep an extra hour. It works wonderfully for us.

  18. Christine says:

    I love this post!

    I never intended to co-sleep but after my son hated his crib I let him sleep with me….best thing ever!! I spent so much worry over him not sleeping in his crib that when his brother was born, I immediately made our crib into a sidecar on our bed.

    It is AWESOME! He nurses without any problem and rolls over and goes back to sleep. No ruffles, no pillows or blankets and he sleeps great.

    Although I slept with my first son in my bed, I wish I had sidecarred the crib.I am there when he needs me during the night and he can roll around when he needs to. Love it!!!!

    What the AAP and other safety organizations need to do is to help make co-cleeping safer. Not just avoid it. Thanks again for the great post!

  19. kat says:

    Co-sleeping currently, with baby #1 (now 2.5 yrs) in his own bed but in our room and 8 month old baby #2 in our bed. With our first I put him from our bed to the arm’s reach co-sleeper at 4 months and then when he could crawl out of that at 10 months (late crawler) we moved our mattress to the floor with his crib mattress next to it. He had is own room for a few months but after a cross country move and downsizing he is back in our large bedroom. My daughter sleeps so much better with me next to her, I haven’t used the co-sleeper and don’t plan to. We just snuggle all night. In the morning my son comes in after my husband has gone to work and I nurse both babies and cuddle and sleep in. Such a horrible life, right? ;)

  20. Ray Morgan says:

    We are presently co-sleeping with our son who is now 9 months. It is heaven and makes life so much easier for my wife to breast feed and get some sleep. I usually wake up grumpy, like most people, but have a real hard time staying that way when I have a smiley little baby staring me in the face. I have never had better mornings then co sleeping with our little guy!
    We had designed foam wedges about 2 feet high, that we have surround our king sized bed with so there is no chance of our little guy (or ourselves for that matter) falling off or get wedged in any cracks. No pilling pillows or blankets, high around his head. The main thing though is that we pay attention, not leaving him alone and always checking in on him. It is convenient that our bedroom is near the kitchen and living room so it is easier to monitor and do things around the house for nap times We sometimes take advantage of his nap time to have a cat nap ourselves with him. I love having him sleep on my chest, feeling his little heart beat against mine. Nothing like it.
    From the information that I found, only people that at are heavily medicated or drunk are at risk of rolling over their child and not noticing it.
    People all over the world co-sleeps… as a society, what is our problem?
    When I was a teenager I had a cat that would sleep in the same bed as mine, nestled in my armpit. Go figure, but she felt it was safe and I never, in all the years of co sleep with that cat did she come to harm.
    We made our choice and are benefit from the results. He’s happy, he’s healthy, he is safe. What more could a caring parents want for their child?

  21. Suzanne says:

    I understand why people co-sleep. In fact, we co-slept with my daughter till she was 14 weeks old. Due to medical complications, I couldn’t breastfeed which TOTALLY SUCKED!!! So we didn’t have that to worry about. Plus, I was always waking up with my pillow too close to her head or my husband’s arm across her chest. I was always waking up terrified that his arm would have fallen across her face in the night and smothered her, or she would have rolled onto her side into my pillow (She’s an extreamly strong baby, even at 16 weeks, she can sit up and almost crawl.) But I completely loved waking up to my happy, joyful baby. However, at 14 weeks old, I put her in her crib at night because we had painted the bedroom, and I didn’t want her around the fumes. I put her heartbeat moble on and tucked her in with a blanket and the shirt I had worn that day, and she slept all night long. Snug as a bug in a rug. I do miss having her in my bed, but I sleep lots better at night knowing that she is safe in her non-drop side crib.

    I would never say co-sleeping is wrong or bad because I really did enjoy having the baby right next to me, but I will say, I do sleep lots better now that I know I or my husband are not going to roll over on her, or that the blanket is going to come up too much, or she’s going to roll into my pillow. I strongly caution parents to really take a look at their sleeping situations and decide what is best for them. I just can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to wake up next to my baby that’s not breathing because of an accident. The horror of that honestly kept me up at night. On the same token, I have a baby that slept 8 hours in a row at 6 weeks, and transitioned to her crib without one change in her sleeping habits, so I understand that it was super easy for me.

    Good Luck and God Bless!

  22. Wendy says:

    My son is three now and has slept with me and my husband since he was a newborn. I never planned it that way, it was simply the only way we could get any sleep. My only regret is that silly crib I bought and never used, lol.

  23. Jaida says:

    I never co-slept with either baby due to the fact that neither of them ever settled well sleeping in our bed. Crib is what worked for them and worked for us. I also moved them to their own rooms after the first two weeks and a little bit of space is what was best for all of us. I have great, strong relationships with both my kiddos, we just did/do our bonding more during the day.

  24. KC says:

    We have co-slept for 9 long years…still haven’t kicked our oldest son out of our bed! Our youngest is 6. They both fall asleep in their beds now, but they come to ours in the middle of the night. At times, I’m frustrated by the lack of space. And sometimes, I worry about judgmental people. My answer to them is that there are people out there who let their ANIMALS in their bed, so what’s so wrong with my human children being in mine? ;-) To each their own. Despite the frustrations, at the end of the day, I’m glad I have this time. I’m glad my children still want this time with us.

  25. Kristin says:

    This is such an individual thing. I never had my first baby in our bed during the night. With my second, I had a tough physical recovery, so after she woke up to feed in the middle of the night, I brought her to my bed. My husband went to the guest room for a few weeks. After those first few weeks, once I had recovered and the baby was only getting up once at night, she was in the crib in her own room. I did the same with my third — it was convenient for those first few weeks. But my husband and I could never co-sleep with a baby. We’re both very light sleepers and neither one of us would have gotten any rest. All three of ours were great sleepers, never got me up more than one or twice/night (after my milk came in, that is) and we all slept really well having the baby in her own room. They were all sleeping through the night between 2 and 3 months old, so we were all really well rested. That’s what worked for us.

  26. Kate says:

    I was afraid of co-sleeping but found it necessary when my newborn absolutely would not sleep in a crib or bassinet. We are fortunate enough to have a king-size bed, so we cleared the blankets and pillows, and laid a folded baby blanket for him to sleep on, which helped my mind recognize a ‘barrier’. I was amazed at how aware you can be of your newborn’s space. I made sure that I slept ‘low’ enough (low as in toward the foot of the bed) so that our faces were even, which helped. I encountered far more risk when breastfeeding upright when tired that first month when the baby is taking much longer to feed and I would find myself nodding off. I found that my hormones left me in a situation that would be more dangerous for myself and baby if I constantly worried all night about the baby in the crib.

    I find that those that argue about the so-called long-term effects of co-sleeping (will the baby ever make it out of the bed?) are typically people that haven’t co-slept but have awareness of friends/relatives that let their babies co-sleep for a long time, therefore are under the impression that it becomes impossible to switch to the crib. A legitimate concern if there aren’t positive experiences shared from those that co-slept. We made the transfer at about 4 months with great ease.

  27. Adrienne says:

    I’m so glad I read this yesterday. We co-slept with Emilio until he was about 2 mos old and then moved him to a bassinet because my husband was keeping him awake with his violent tossing and turning, seriously he doesn’t know how to turn himself over in his sleep without basically throwing himself over, odd. Anyway, so that soothing bond of being near us helping him sleep had been established. He moved very easily in to his crib at 3 months so I knew he was ready for some more peace and quiet as he slept. However, if he doesn’t get his first initial long stretch of sleep at night (lately because he has been soaking himself and who wants to sleep in a puddle of their own pee?) he will wake up after only 2-3 hours instead of 5-6. This then starts an up every 2 hours trend. After reading this yesterday and him waking up after only 2.5 hours initially last night I thought, okay if he starts the every 2 hour trend, I’ll just put him in bed with me in the guest room. Oh it worked like a charm. We snuggled up together and he got a nice 4 hour stretch of sleep. YAY! Sure it isn’t for everyone, but I encourage all women to give it a go safely, the results can be great!

  28. ChrissyD says:

    I sort of co-slept with my daughter Rachel. She would wake up around 5am or so, and I would bring her in my bed to nurse her…then we would fall back asleep until 8 or 9am. I never worried about hurting her…she was such a big healthy baby and I always woke right up if she stirred. I didn’t sleep with my son only b/c he actually slept better if he was alone in his crib.

  29. Carol says:

    I’m 1000% against it. It’s absolutely NOT worth the risk.

  30. mccutcheon says:

    argh… reading your blogposts always makes me want a baby that much more :(

  31. KC says:

    On the matter of safety, I can’t seem to find any non-biased research that compares the number of deaths while co-sleeping to the number of deaths in cribs. There was recently a major recall of cribs due to entrapment issues, which made me wonder whether co-sleeping is as dangerous as people think it to be.

  32. Maggie May says:

    I’m 1000% for it. If it’s done under normal cirumstances ( no extreme obesity, drug or alcohol use, sleep problems ) and safe circumstances ( no fluffy covers, no pillows, etc ) it’s perfectly safe, despite what Americans have been told through the media. It’s been a crucial part of the intense bonding and connection and understanding with my four children. I just wrote a blog post about this myself!

  33. Kelsey says:

    I’ve co-slept with my daughter since day one, She’s 20 months old now and alive, well and doing just fine. I plan to co-sleep with any other children I have. I find most people who tell you “it’s wrong” really have only been told it’s wrong by someone else and have never tried it out first hand. I also recall friends of mine complaing about their lack of sleep in the first year, which like you said a mother never sleeps, but i seemed to be more well rested then any parent I know whom let their child sleep in another room.

  34. Sara says:

    For some of your posters who mentioned they were interested in research for safety issues. I’m a bio-cultural anthropologist (or maybe not – do I have to have that graduation slip in hand to claim that?!) and my main focus is attachment theory. I love Dr. McKenna’s work. He’s amazing and always has current research as well as more info about historical and cultural research

    There’s also some good information on the Sears website

    And here

    The main issues with infant deaths and sleeping are directly related to improper sleeping arrangements (couches, waterbeds, etc.), formula feeding, and smoking. In those instances it would be dangerous. However, even the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all mothers – specifically breastfeeding mothers – sleep in close proximity to their babies (same room, crib or co-sleeper next to bed) in the same room.

  35. Karen says:

    My childless self was amazed when I first heard that co-sleeping was ‘controversial’. I thought that was how most mom’s did it in the beginning, what with the hourly feedings and all. I’m glad it’s working out for you, Monica…

    Now, spill your newest, celebratory news!

  36. Karen says:

    PS Max is such a sweet, gray pooch! I remember reading all about him when you were in NY and he was a youngster-

  37. amyinaustin says:

    I did not do it with my first simply because HE would not have it. On several occasions when I didn’t know what else to do to get him to settle in and go to sleep I’d try. No such luck. Baby #2 came along and being as exhausted as I was and desperate for sleep I put her in bed with me (husband was in guest room). It was amazing how well she slept, even for a newborn. I was able to feed her, swaddle her and put her right back to sleep and get some sleep myself. I believe it has made all the difference this time around. I’m not nearly as sleep deprived, impatient, and on edge as I was with my son(from getting NO sleep). She is 4 months old now and sleeps happily in her crib in her room. Do what works for you to keep your sanity. Especially with more than one child to take care of during the day.

  38. Gina says:

    Adequate sleep is paramount to physical, emotional and mental health. Sleeping with a baby is obviously normal and healthy, and you certainly are intelligent enough to have considered the risks and safety issues. To fully avoid these risks you could consider investing in a co-sleeper bassinet or check out these models and build one.

    ZZZ the night.

  39. Colleen says:

    My son was a 30 week preemie and while he was in the hospital we did as much skin to skin “kangaroo” care as possible. When we can home it just made sense for him to sleep next to me. I also could not bare the thought of being separated from him at all. It ended up working wonderfully for us. He is 3 now are we are working on transitioning him into his own bed now.

    Be safe and do what works for you.

  40. Dani says:

    Good for you for making what seems like the right choice for you no matter how controversial and for talking about it! it’s so awesome how you’ve opened up a whole slew of people talking and discussing it! Kudos! We co-slept with our first and I wouldn’t change it for the world! I’m sure I’ll do it with any future children in store for us!

  41. CMDJsMommy says:

    The hubs and I always said we’d never let LO sleep in our bed; my cousin and his wife co-slept with their triplets+1 for years (might still be). I always said that that would never be us. Well, LO is a strong-willed little dude, who had cranial vault remodeling surgery at 3.5 mos, at least 7 ear infections, 4 bouts of bronchiolitis, RSV and a plethora of allergies we keep discovering. He started out in the Fisher Price Rock’n'Play lounger, pushed right up to my side of the bed and had to stayat that angle for a while, to keep swelling down. He slept like a rock in that thing, then we moved him to a play yard. Then, it was all down hill. He’s always napped with daddy or I in our bed, but now he thinks our bed is his, and for some reason, he beats me up at night. At 14 months old, he hasn’t truly slept through the night in 8 months. I’m losing my mind. I want him in his room, in his crib, but daddy isn’t ready. So… Daddy gets to get up with him. I get up when I need to – throwing up, poop, screaming – but making my DH get up with a child who is smart enough and now.healthy enough to sleep all night in his own bed/room, is my own way of putting my foot down, even if I’m the only ones who knows I’m doing it

  42. dezi's mom says:

    Honestly, I think the danger with co-sleeping lies more in if you are a heavy sleeper and I agree mom’s usually aren’t. It is instinctual and I know at the slightest noise, or movement, I am aware of it from him, honestly sometimes even if I am in the next room. My husband and i alternate nights on baby night duty and i know sometimes I will just pick him up and bring him into bed with me.

  43. elin says:

    i totally agree.. it up to mums as for me i co sleep wth 3of my kids… the bond we hve is amazng

  44. Ju says:

    With my daughter, I had no choice but co-sleep with my daughter. My husband was deployed, I was a first-time mom, I was not getting any sleep . . . I piled “mink” blankets on the floor to make a pallet, put a body pillow as a divider in case I rolled ( once I was used to her sleeping next to me, the pillow moved ) and found I felt so much better, so did she. She’s cuddled on and off with us since then. The only time she slept in her crib was when I knew I was simply much too tired and would possibly not wake up if I rolled on her. Now with my son, I’m more comfortable with it (even though it’s been nearly 6 years, I never slept truly deeply ever again) so I have no problem with plucking the little man from his crib, laying him next to me, his head on one of those fabric diaper liners (great for absorbing milk, spit up, sweat . . . drool) under his head, letting him latch on and he nearly always never wakes up. I get to drift back to sleep and everyone’s happy until a burp or super wet diaper wakes him up.
    I packed down an extra blanket in the crack between the bed and the wall so he won’t roll in, lay him down and curl around him. Hubby gets sleep, big sister gets sleep and can creep in b/n Daddy and Mommy if she has a nightmare, I get sleep and LO gets his meal and to snuggle mommy. Besides, for some reason he loves soft, warm and fuzzy things. Everyone wins!

  45. Hey there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same subjects? Thank you!

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