Welcome to Babble,
Sign Out

Get the Babble Newsletter

Already have an account? .

Introducing Abby Normal

Nice to meet you! I’ll be blogging the first year of my baby’s life. If you want to hear a mom in her 40s dealing with a newborn and a toddler, well, friend, you’ve just hit paydirt.

Surprise! After having a hell of a time getting pregnant the first time… and even though I was still breastfeeding … and despite my advance maternal age (I’m 43), I turned to my husband toward the end of last January and asked, “Do you remember when my last period was?”

He gave me the fisheye. I mean, come on. Do I know when Tottenham last played Man United? No. There are certain things, despite our liberated status, that we just keep to ourselves about.

I did a frantic accounting of my tampons, brainstormed about what we were doing when, and discovered that I had missed two periods. Two. Periods. Remember those college days, when the waving of your scarlet “not-pregnant” flag took on almost holy significance? Guess what: when you have a lively, rambunctious 15-month-old, these things drop by the wayside. A test confirmed that my husband has a magic penis, and no, you can’t borrow it. And about eight bloated, waddling, nervous months later, out popped this gorgeous little girl on August 3rd, at 5:17 pm.

It took a couple more days for it to hit me: I had two babies. Two. Two kids. I had another kid. If Penny was taking her nap, I still had to deal with Abby. You get the picture. I’m a slow learner.

It also occurred to me that I remembered next to nothing about newborns. Actually? I knew next to nothing about newborns, since my older kid, Penelope, showed up 10 weeks early and spent 6 weeks in the NICU at our local teaching hospital. I was great at opening a plastic isolette, gathering up the wires that attached my four-pound baby to several different monitors, and chatting casually with doctors who threw around words like “meningitis” and “bradycardia.” Crisis, I could deal with. But a normal seven-and-a-half pounder who just needed me to … uh … know how to take care of her … normal needs? I don’t freakin’ know! Ack, that diaper rash is gross! Holy crap, this poop is yellow! Oh man, I’m TIRED! All new. Fresh and new and windswept.

So here I am, a second-time-mom with first-time-problems. I’ll blog as often as my kids will let me, which is to say… well, we’ll see how it goes. I make no promises except that I’ll entertain you with my middle-aged-newborn rants and musings. Okay, I don’t guarantee that either, but I hope it’s true. See you next time.

Follow me on Twitter (I’m @madfoot), friend me on Facebook!

Tagged as: , , , ,

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.