Married or committed.
Engaged or single.
Families come in all types of shapes and sizes.
When a recent study came out showing more children today are being born to “single” parents than married couples I saw a rash of harsh, biased and downright hateful articles deeming this the collapse of the American family — which I take offense to.
In fact I put “single” in my virtual air quotes because filing your taxes as single does not in fact make you single or mean you are not committed to parent with your partner. In some cases you live under the same roof and just decided not to get married.
This is how my husband and I were when we decided to have my oldest son — and we didn’t get married till after he was born. We actually had no plan to marry at all but we knew we were committed enough to each other to start a family.
The data compiled by a group based in Washington DC called Child Trends shows:
- 4 out of 10 children are born to women who are not married.
- More than half of the births in the US are to women under 30 years of age.
- The fastest growing group of women giving birth is white women in their 20’s with some college education.
It shows a shift which is bring driven by the economy clearly. But the fact that people are using this to take shots at the families that make these choices calling it the downfall of the American family, or the downfall of family in general piss me off.
Because it is unfounded and offensive.
It is stereotyping and hurtful.
Families are changing across the board! Some families have two dads and some have two moms! Some families have three dads and one mom or two moms and two dads. Families today come in all shapes and sizes. I am fortunate that my family is pretty close to what some would call traditional but who cares?
Why don’t we support the parents and these beautiful babies that are coming into the world instead of trying to throw them under the bus from birth because of who their parents are — and whether or not they are married?
Maybe if we started with this simple step of humanity in our country we could start to make life better across the board for all of the children we are bringing into the world right?
Stop casting stones and dividing families!
Read more on Baby’s First Year from Danielle: