Night after night for ten weeks, I’ve had a cute Moses basket sidled up to my bed with an even cuter infant tucked inside. Breastfed and still refusing a bottle, Baby Girl has become my constant companion.
We’ve been through some good and bad times together: 9 months of pregnancy, a move from one house to another, delivery and resulting battle wounds, another move, a CF scare, and an ongoing house remodel. My husband was steering the ship when possible (moves and remodels), but Baby Girl acted as my hopeful little sidekick all the while.
But when Baby Girl had her best night yet, I decided it was time to give her some room. Or, her own room, more specifically. (Thanks to the move, she has one!) We assembled her little crib, bought a crib mattress and tucked her inside the very next night. It felt nice not to tiptoe around my own bedroom anymore and to clear my nightstand of all that baby stuff. (Wait. What’s that breast pump still doing there?)
And since her birth, I relegated my husband to the guest bedroom where he has been sleeping on an air mattress for two-and-a-half months. (He wakes at 5:40 every day; I figure he doesn’t need to be awakened at midnight and again at 4 a.m.. If he gets sleep at night, the chances are better that I’ll get a nap in the day.)
But with my husband and a little of my life back, I still went to sleep a little weepy that first night I left her on her own. I’m sentimental to the extreme about my children growing up. When my toddler recently turned a year older, I cried as he blew out his candles. I remember nursing him as a baby, and sobbing at the thought that he might never be as close to me, nor need me as much as he did in that very moment. It was first-time mom stuff, but some of that sentiment still lingers.
So, Baby Girl is getting bigger and has graduated to her own room. I get homesick at the thought that I might never have a baby sleeping in my room again. But when the day comes that I don’t get awakened to nurse her until 6:30 or 7 a.m., I’m sure I’ll feel just fine.
How long did you or have you been co-sleeping with your baby? Was ending it a hard move to make?