For 10 long months I’ve been coming up with excuses. His naps are too unpredictable. We’re moving in a few months. I can’t find anyone. He’s sleeping long enough now that I can handle it alone.
I’ve been putting it off and putting it off, and it has finally caught up with me. I need help, and I am out of excuses.
I have struggled to admit I can’t do everything for quite some time now. I was determined that I would be a work-at-home mom, working during naps and evenings, without any outside help or assistance. But getting slammed with mastitis last week for the third time in 10 months has made me realize that I am not, as it turns out, invincible. I’m burnt out and my body is recognizing it.
My hope is to have someone come 3 days a week for a few hours in the afternoon. 2 of these days I will spend working – glued to my computer knocking out posts, answering emails, and cooking new recipe projects. If I can swing it, I’m thinking that I might spend the other day doing some “me” things; running, grocery shopping alone, even just simple errands. It’s amazing how much more you can do without a sidekick!
It makes me sad to not think about spending every waking minute with Cullen, since that is exactly what I’ve done for 10 months. But as he gets older, I also know it’s important to start getting him used to being taken care of by others. We do lots of playgroups, storytimes, and play dates with friends, but he’s not really used to actually being cared for by other adults. I think it will be a good change for both of us.
I know that if I have a little breathing room to get my work done, I can be a more present and attentive parent in the hours that Cullen and I spend together. No scanning the cell phone for new emails, no catching up on phone calls while he plays – just real, quality time together.
The search has started already, and I’m hoping to interview a few potential sitters next week. Here goes nothing!
Read more from Emily on her personal blog Daily Garnish, where she creates healthy vegetarian recipes, recaps her latest running adventures, and chronicles life as a new mom to her son and two crazy dogs. You can follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest too!