I don’t worry if my kids don’t hit milestone when they’re “suppose” to. I don’t call the doctor at every mild fever or every time vomit hits the floor. For the most part, I’m good with going with the flow flow, and letting my proverbial curls fly.
But if there is one thing that will put me on high anxiety and keep me up at night trying to control, it’s tummy sleeping.
I wasn’t always like this.
When I had my daughter, seven years ago, I would sleep her on her belly all the time for naps. I knew “back was best”, but for her, she slept so much longer (and deeper) on her tummy. So I let her do it.
Then four years ago, I suffered an indescribable heart wrenching gut punch that would be hard to ever recover from. Everything change forever when my best friends four month old passed away from SIDS, sleeping on his tummy.
And that’s the exact point I became hyper-aware, every time I laid a baby down to sleep.
Since that day four years ago, I’ve had two more babies, Gage and Paul. As soon as Gage was born, I invested in the best monitor I could find, an Angelcare Baby Monitor that kept track of even the slightest movement found in the crib. The monitor eased my heart just a little bit, but by no means took away the anxiety completely.
Just yesterday, Paul started rolling over from his back to his tummy during nap time and in the middle of the night. They (the professionals) say, that once a baby is strong enough to roll over on his own, it’s ok for them to sleep that way. That they are strong enough, and aware enough, and the potential for SIDS is decreased (but not eliminated completely).
It’s taking everything I have not to check on him every 5 minutes and not to go in there and roll him back over on his back.
I know I need to give up this control, that he will be fine, and that he is safe. It’s just so hard, I love him so much.
More Babbling from Emily…