I’ve been writing a whole lot of posts about breastfeeding lately. Probably because my life revolves around breastfeeding. I time meals, sleep, errands, playdates, and blog writing around breastfeeding. If the baby needs to be fed, everything else goes to the back burner so I can settle into the couch and breastfeed. I? Am a breastfeeding champ. A paragon of nursing. Making milk is my superpower. I am a close encounter of the lactating kind.
I’m also operating on very little sleep as I write this so that last paragraph may have gotten a little weird at the end. Sorry about that.
I mostly like breastfeeding. It’s warm and cuddly and the ocytocin is good stuff. I like seeing my baby’s arm chub and knowing that I made it happen. (She has actual elbow dimples! Like a Cabbage Patch doll! Because of my milk!) I like the ease of knowing I can feed my baby anytime, anywhere without carrying any extra gear with me. It’s a good system all around and I feel good about it.
However, there is a downside. The hormones responsible for keeping my milk supply up so I can sustain this baby completely block the hormones needed to make another baby. Not that I want to make another baby. This is my last baby. But without the baby-making juices flowing, my interest in making whoopee is at rock bottom.
The most likely reason behind the low libido during breastfeeding is low estrogen. This suppresses ovulation and, with it, sexy-sexytime feelings. I can’t speak for others, but I find that I can work up an intellectual interest in sex but the physical manifestation – horniness, if I may be so blunt – doesn’t follow. Instead, I just look at my husband and think “That is a hot guy. I should jump his bones. Or I could take a nap.”. Tragically, I often choose the nap. But I do my best to make sure my husband knows that the low sex-drive and desire for naps is not about him; it’s just a side effect of nursing and I love him as much as I ever have. More, even.
There are ways to get revved up, even while breastfeeding. Tons of foreplay, backrubs, foot massages, maybe invest in some lube, think sexy thoughts, read sexy books. We all have our hot buttons, doncha know. But I’d say the most important thing if you’re also in the breastfeeding-low-libido rut is to keep telling your partner that its not about them or about your relationship. It’s just your personal hormonal cocktail is set up for nurture, not nookie. That communication will keep anyone from feeling resentful and who knows? Maybe a nice long talk about intimacy is enough to kindle some romantic urges!
Photo credit: photo stock
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