Ok, you guys. I’ll admit it. I am totally hibernating on purpose. I am keeping busy at home because I have moved to a place that I have never been before. The town has a population just under 10,000 people (and we moved from a fairly urban environment). The only person I know is our realtor. Of course this situation isn’t helped by the fact that it is hot and humid and I don’t really know how to function outside, especially while wearing Tate, which is what we do around here.
I am hoping I will make a few friends at church over the next few weeks, but in the mean time, I am alone. My husband has started work and graduate school and is incredibly busy. And I must admit, the transition from office to SAHM is nothing compared to the transition of Steve going back to work and my living in an unfamiliar place with a baby.
So, I have to ask, how on earth does a SAHM go about making friends? Do you have tips? Please share. Because I am afraid I might go completely crazy with cabin fever.
Madeline blogs an tweets about budget clothes, modest apparel, sales, her obsession with pop culture, and her pudgy little baby, Tate, at Babble and her personal blog, Uber Chic for Cheap. She lives in Corpus Christi, Texas.
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I’m lucky to live in a community that has quite a few activities for moms with young babies. Here are some ideas: check Yahoo! or meetup.com for mom groups in your area (or create one). Check the local library for story time. Look up parks and recreation websites for your town or one nearby for options like mommy/baby swim classes, mommy/baby yoga classes, or music sing-a-longs. The library, coffee shops, and/or grocery store might have community bulletin boards listing activities, too. If none of those work, try finding a good park and see if you can strike up a conversation with friendly-looking moms. Your church’s bulletin or website will probably also list groups or activities. Good luck!
I also was having some trouble finding other “mommy friends” (most of my girlfriends work, I stay at home and take classes). I found ways to connect with other moms by going to La Leche League meetings when my baby was really new, and I just started going to a baby & me yoga class in hopes of meeting some other moms. I also heard about the website Macaroni Kid – http://national.macaronikid.com – you can put your area in and sign up for an email newsletter of childrens activities near you- I’m hoping that might be a good way to meet some people too! Or even try a local park for meeting other moms.
Good luck, hopefully in no time you’ll meet a few nice people and can have some moms to chat with!
Yes to all. We met people from La Leche League too. Classes are good too.
I am shy but try to strike up conversations with moms and dads of babies at the park, library, or pool. You never know who will become a friend. Good luck!
Lots and lots of moms go to storytime at the Portland library Thurs at 9 or 10. It is very popular here with the local county librarian Mr Kippy. It is entertaining for the kids and parents (Mr. Kippy is hilarious) They also have it in Ingleside Thur at 3:30 and Fri 8:30.
Once upon a time I was a mother – an only mother, a lonely mother. Within weeks of giving birth I began my descent into motherhood alone (hold me). By the time my son became an active toddler, I finally came to the realization that motherhood was a team sport. It was obvious we were the kind of people who needed people.
And why shouldn’t we have friends? We were super fun; we even knew the words to “Fruit Salad.” We also needed more than just each other. I needed to find imperfect moms who had baby weight to lose and thought their toddlers were crazy; moms like me. My son needed to find imperfect kids with snotty sleeves and problems sharing; kids like him.
With my toddler as my wingman, we set out to make friends and establish a community. Here’s how we did it sans the stench of desperation.
Joining an online birth club: Like anyone searching for anything, I began my search online. I typed in “awesome mom friends,” and 6 pages into my search results I landed on my birth club, an online community for parents with children born the same month and year. Wow, you really can find anything online! My birth club was chatting about picky eaters, potty training struggles, feeling fat, and having no sex drive. I instantly knew these were my people. I jumped in, introduced myself as a newbie, and was welcomed with virtual open arms.
Going local: Your community is a great place to begin your search for local moms. We checked out our city’s Parks and Recreation Department for music, art, and movement classes specifically designed for toddlers. These interactive classes are a wonderful way to meet and connect with moms in your own backyard. Best of all, local moms are your very best resource for exclusive mommy intel.
Organizing a Lamaze/birthing/breastfeeding class reunion: Your mommy alumni have seen you in enough compromising positions to earn practical BFF status. If you were savvy enough to jot down a few telephone numbers or email addys in between latching attempts, reach out and make contact! I recently connected with a friend I made in my breastfeeding class – the breast is history.
Prowling the preschool meet market: Whether you volunteer in your child’s preschool classroom, chaperone field trips, or simply strike up a convo at morning drop-off, take advantage of the mommy connections preschool can offer. As an added bonus, if your child is the naughty one in class, like mine, your preschool moms already know it. Full disclosure, check.
Children’s birthday parties: An untapped mommy goldmine. Your toddler was invited to the birthday party of a friend. You dread going, knowing there will be like a thousand toddlers there. But guess what? Each one of those toddlers brought their mom as their date. Have some cake, introduce yourself, and make a connection!
It’s all in who you know. So you have a million friends and not one of them has a toddler. Why not ask your friends for mommy referrals? Because really, any friend of a friend is a friend of yours, right? Alright, maybe not, but it’s worth investigating. If a blind mommy date sounds unappealing, consider arranging a girls’ lunch or backyard BBQ to meet your mommy referrals under less-conspicuous circumstances. Necessity is the mother of invitation.
While it can seem impossible, making mommy friends isn’t actually the hardest thing in the world, especially if you’ve ever dealt with a public diaper blowout. Remember: Arming yourself with support is necessary, and when it comes to motherhood, there’s sanity in numbers.
Madeline blogs an tweets about budget clothes, modest apparel, sales, her obsession with pop culture, and her pudgy little baby, Tate, at Babble and her personal blog, Uber Chic for Cheap. She lives in Corpus Christi, Texas.
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Q: How is Following different from Liking someone?
A. When you Follow someone on Babble, you only receive notifications in your Facebook feed related to their activity on Babble. When you Like or Friend someone, all of their content can be displayed in your activity feeds.
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3 thoughts on “Making new mommy friends and finding your tribe with a toddler”
But what about those of us who don’t *want* a tribe? IMHO, there is too much pressure on women to have “girlfriends”. Not everyone has the energy, time and patience, and function best as a “lone wolf”. I say this as someone who has had to come to grips with this reality after much self-flagellation and concern over whether it was social anxiety or just misanthropy. I would LOVE if someone wrote an article about resisting the unrelenting pressure to lead a SITC life.
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Ok, you guys. I’ll admit it. I am totally hibernating on purpose. I am keeping busy at home because I have moved to a place that I have never been before. The town has a population just under 10,000 people (and we moved from a fairly urban environment). The only person I know is our realtor. Of course this situation isn’t helped by the fact that it is hot and humid and I don’t really know how to function outside, especially while wearing Tate, which is what we do around here.
Jamie Bissot 
Look for a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group in your area.
I’m lucky to live in a community that has quite a few activities for moms with young babies. Here are some ideas: check Yahoo! or meetup.com for mom groups in your area (or create one). Check the local library for story time. Look up parks and recreation websites for your town or one nearby for options like mommy/baby swim classes, mommy/baby yoga classes, or music sing-a-longs. The library, coffee shops, and/or grocery store might have community bulletin boards listing activities, too. If none of those work, try finding a good park and see if you can strike up a conversation with friendly-looking moms. Your church’s bulletin or website will probably also list groups or activities. Good luck!
I also was having some trouble finding other “mommy friends” (most of my girlfriends work, I stay at home and take classes). I found ways to connect with other moms by going to La Leche League meetings when my baby was really new, and I just started going to a baby & me yoga class in hopes of meeting some other moms. I also heard about the website Macaroni Kid – http://national.macaronikid.com – you can put your area in and sign up for an email newsletter of childrens activities near you- I’m hoping that might be a good way to meet some people too! Or even try a local park for meeting other moms.
Good luck, hopefully in no time you’ll meet a few nice people and can have some moms to chat with!
Meetup.com has mom’s groups
Yes to all. We met people from La Leche League too. Classes are good too.
I am shy but try to strike up conversations with moms and dads of babies at the park, library, or pool. You never know who will become a friend. Good luck!
We took early childhood classes offered at the local school.
it’s all about the ward+the apartment complex we live in for me. good luck!
Lots and lots of moms go to storytime at the Portland library Thurs at 9 or 10. It is very popular here with the local county librarian Mr Kippy. It is entertaining for the kids and parents (Mr. Kippy is hilarious) They also have it in Ingleside Thur at 3:30 and Fri 8:30.