My IUD Quit on MeMolly Thornberg
After 4 babies, we needed a birth control solution that wasn’t the pill or the ring (I got pregnant on both of those).
I know what you are thinking. Or at least my self consciousness thinks it does. Isn’t 4 enough? Well yes – I am just not ready to officially say that out loud.
After chatting with friends and my doctor about how not to get pregnant, Mirena, an IUD came highly recommended. An IUD would give me 5 years to decide if we were officially done. With a plethora of benefits and a lovely name, Mirena — I was all in!
Let’s get me a Mirena, STAT!
The process to get an IUD involved getting approval from my insurance company, and filling out paperwork for the pharmacy. Unfortunately, Target Pharmacy doesn’t carry IUDs. The IUD has to be mailed to the doctor’s office, which took about 3 weeks.
After Mirena arrived, I went in for an office visit to get her placed. I guess there is no DIY IUD kit for at home insertion.
PLACING THE IUD
The office visit started like most typical OBGYN experiences. You pee in a cup to ensure you are not knocked up. I always leave messages for my nurse on my pee cup. Hey, after having 2 kids in 16 months, you get to know the entire OBGYN staff. Plus, nothing says “Happy day!” like a message on a cup of urine.
I really did not know the specifics about how this whole IUD thing was done. After being put into a room, I noticed an array of medical supplies on the counter. Of course I had to take a snapshot and text to my husband. Don’t worry, there are no pictures of the actual IUD insertion.
The whole process of placing the Mirena IUD took about 10 minutes and the pain was similar to that of a pap smear. “Done!” said the doctor. “No more thinking about birth control for 5 years!” said me.
The following days were lovely. Well not really. Your body has to adjust to the IUD. *TMI* Discharge that looks like coffee grounds and the feeling of something settling in your uterus isn’t exactly my idea of fun. Things were better by the second week. Still odd and not normal, but nothing horrible.
Nothing horrible, until week 3 that is. Around day 20 of having the IUD, I noticed minimal cramping. Seeing that I had recently had a baby, I really thought it was just Ant Flo making postpartum adjustments. Boy, was I wrong.
The next day I woke up to severe painful cramps that kept strengthening as the hours passed. WTH! I felt like I was in labor. The pains increased until I felt something odd. My IUD had pushed its way out.
AFTER MY IUD CAME OUT
Just great. Not even a month into the job and my IUD quit. It gave up and
walked pushed out — no letter of resignation or anything. Surely this was a joke.
After a call to the doctor, I was asked to come in as soon as possible. I was given a fabulous internal ultrasound (oh ladies, you know what that’s like — awkward. Apparently this is also known as a transvaginal ultrasound … someday you might need to know that.). Confirmation was given to the doctor that I indeed had passed my IUD. (DUH. You should of heard the hell I gave the ultrasound tech.)
The doctor gave me a prescription for the pill and said that she had never had a patient whose IUD had come out. She had had people who experienced discomfort and side effects therefore had their IUDs removed, but never one that actually came completely out.
Lucky me. I really should of just wrapped Mirena up in a box and presented it to my doctor as a gift. I may have saved on having an ultrasound. There has to be a 30-day refund policy on that thing, right?
NO MORE IUD FOR ME
I was advised that I shouldn’t try an IUD again for another year. Also that the doctor’s office may have to work with my insurance to see if they would cover another IUD.
So that’s that. Mirena and me just didn’t get along. I guess everything happens for a reason, I just wish she would’ve stayed on the job longer.
All this being said, I know several people who love their IUD. I’m just an oddity, apparently.
Image of the transvaginal ultrasound scary device: absolutemed.com
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