Mommy Fail: Bath Time Edition

My squeaky clean baby...AFTER our bath time fail was corrected.

There are many things that I was unprepared for concerning motherhood:  cluster feedings, inconsolable crying, how to heat up breast milk, disgusting diaper explosions…  But, one thing I was pretty sure I’d have in the bag was bath time. How hard could it be to bathe a baby? It doesn’t require a whole lot – a squirt of soap, a wash cloth, a splash of water. It’s not rocket science, right  I mean, I’ve been bathing myself for years, so how different could it be?

Well, apparently I was wrong. I officially suck at bath time and experienced a total “mommy fail” moment concerning this seemingly basic task.

Find out why I suck at bath time after the jump!

So, I didn’t actually realize my mommy fail moment during Fern’s actual bath time, but rather when I was changing her diaper. I was about to get her ready for bed, so I stripped her down before changing her diaper and she extended her arms above her head into the cutest, most giant stretch ever. That’s when I noticed it:  gooey, white gunk in Fern’s armpits.  What the…?

I wiped it off with a swipe of my finger and then I made the biggest mistake ever; I smelled my finger. I almost threw up  Whatever the white, nasty armpit gunk was, it smelled like death (or at least what I would imagine death to smell like). Apparently you’re supposed to wash under your baby’s armpits. Oops. I racked my brain trying to remember the last time I’d washed under Fern’s armpits and the answer I kept coming up with was…never. Mommy fail.

In my defense, I don’t technically bathe Fern, but rather give her a shower when I take them, which means I’m doing all the washing one handed while holding her and lifting her arm pits would be rather difficult.  I’ll definitely be washing under her arms from now on though – no more stinky armpits for Fern!

Have any “mommy fail” moments you’d care to share so I can feel a little bit better about my mothering skills? I’d appreciate it!


•Lauren Hartmann is the founder of The Little Things We Do, a blog about life and adventures in Portland Oregon. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook, or catch up on all of her posts here on Babble.

Article Posted 4 years Ago
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