This month, I fell truly, madly, deeply for my son. Considering he is already three months old, I know that sounds kind of crazy to say, but bear with me for a minute. I’ve been thinking about this for awhile now as I have seen the same pattern happen with both of my children.
My personal experience has been that the first month is about survival. Of course I was crazy about Arlo the minute I had him in my arms. As his mother, my love was deep and instantaneous, but we had a lot of getting-to-know-you ahead of us. I was sleep deprived, trying to get my crazy milk over-production under control so that we could both enjoy breastfeeding, dealing with post partum hormones and Arlo was diagnosed with bad reflux at 10 days old. To say that his first month remains as a blur in my memory is an understatement.
By month two, I began to get a handle on things. We had found a routine, he was letting me sleep for longer than hour and a half increments, and I felt like I was finally shaking off the new baby haze but Arlo still slept A LOT. I did a lot of looking at him and snuggling him but I still didn’t really know him yet.
Which brings us to this month. Month three. The month that the lights turned on and my sleeping newborn suddenly became an legit baby with goofy smiles, animated facial expressions and a distinct personality. I’ve learned how to read his cries, anticipate his needs, and know just the right combination of actions to keep him happy. He lights up when he sees me. He responds in such a positive, excited way to my voice. We are both sleeping well, he’s eating well, and all of those stumbling blocks and hiccups that tripped us up in the early months are finally working themselves out.
And so this is the part where I fail head over heels over this kid. Where I realize we are soulmates. Where I start penciling his name in hearts on all of my notebooks highschool-style (ok, not really – but you get my drift). I’ve loved and adored him from the very start… but these days it feels like cupid shot an arrow straight to my heart.
Have any other mamas out there found this to be true with their children? Right around month three you suddenly feel like the consistent love you have carried for your child suddenly skyrockets to unimaginable heights?