My Baby’s New Year’s Resolutions
I, Baby N, aged 6 months, do solemnly undertake to resolve the following as we begin 2013:
- Leave No Shirt Unstained: My parents seem to enjoy laundry very much. Otherwise, why would they do so much of it? I’ll oblige them by spitting up on all their clothes.
- Seek New Toys: My brother is about to turn 5 and he has the COOLEST TOYS IN THE WORLD. I an determined to taste a Lego in 2013.
- Defy Physics: Who says poop can’t shoot sideways out of a diaper?
- Broaden My Palate: Sand, dirt, leaves, dryer lint, and crayons are all on my must-taste list.
- Keep In Touch: I’m going to get that phone from my mom and get a hold of everyone in her address book. I’m sure her boss from the job she had in 2002 wants to talk to me.
- Take a Bottle: Just kidding. I just wanted to see if my mom is paying attention. Psych!
- Explore Literature: Books raise all kinds of interesting questions like how hard can you pat a bunny and who on earth eats a bowl of mush?
- Sparkle and Glow: My brother brings home glitter from pre-school and I’m going to find new ways to adhere it to my body and DAZZLE.
- Learn an Instrument: If my fingers won’t cooperate with the fine-motor skill necessary for guitar, I’ll take up kabuki-style screech singing.
- Find My Stalker: I don’t know who that baby in the mirror is, but 2013 is the year I get to the bottom of that mystery.
Photo credit: photo stock
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