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Need An Excuse To Nurse?

Penny

This is your brain. This is your brain on num-num.

I have this fun little group of women I get together with, called Musical Mommas. We meet once a week, sometimes more, and bring whatever instrument we can manage (for me, this means my beloved ukulele finally comes out of mothballs). This past week, we were talking about where we were all going for Christmas, and one of my friends said she was going home to see her family and worried that they’d think it was weird that she is still nursing her seventeen month old.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what to say,” she said. “I just don’t want to get into it with them, if they give me a hard time.”

So we came up with these snappy answers to nosy questions. What do you think? Would this shut people up?
“It’s the only way you can get him to take the gin. He just won’t drink it straight!”

“I had weaned him, but then I started putting on weight, so I made him start again.”

“I was going to wean him, but then I thought I’d feel too looooonely.”

“I can’t wean him until I decide what kind of birth control to use.”

“I’m addicted to nipple stimulation.”

“I’d stop, but it’s cheaper to feed him this way, and I need the money for Pilates.”

“This is San Francisco if he’s going to get into the right kindergarten, I have to prove you’ve given him every chance at a high IQ.”

“I’ve definitely decided to wean him before high school.”

“How else can I be sure I’m the only woman he’ll ever love?”

“I can’t let him stop nursing this is the only thing keeping him from smoking.”

Of course, the other option is to say… nothing, and let people be idiots if they want to, but where’s the fun in that?

What would you say to someone complaining you were nursing too long?

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