On Date Nights & BabysittersSelena Mills
Since the mister and I had a date night that is.
Which is rather confusing, given how social we are. Slowly, we’re learning that less is more.
For what seems like ever (really only going on 3 years now, since the babies anyways), the mister and I have been juggling far too much. Both entrepreneurs and artists – we’ve been burning the candle from both ends. Truth be told we were like this before babies.
Family. Us. Our partnership and keeping the central fire burning. No, I’m not talking about sex-on-the-regular. (Although this is good, but who are we kidding right now? We have a 12 month old and a 2 1/2 year old.) I’m talking about re-evaluating what is really important and making time to actually enjoy our lives together.
Crazy talk, I know, right?
Perhaps it’s because we’re former long-time city slickers, or perhaps it’s because we’re right brain/left brain enthusiasts, but this simple mantra (less is more), has been one of the most challenging concepts to grasp and put into play.
It used to be before, that while we had more than enough opportunities for a date night, or alone time, we have chosen to be working, or mixing our social lives while working. When the mister gigs locally, often we get a hotel room as part of the contract. If it’s a festival style event, I would often also be vending. So while we may very well have gotten one of the g-rent units to care for our children during these times – we never actually felt like we had some quality time together.
Classic example: a month ago my SIL got us a gorgeous boutique suite (and took the kids) so we could have a night to ourselves in the big city that I love and miss, the one that we moved away from when we started ou family. What did we do? He took a gig that night, under the pretense that it was a benefit concert for a non-profit org that we are fond of. I decided to vend at the same event he was gigging at the very next day.
Anyways, as I ramble on here, my point is this. Now that I’ve made the big decision to make writing my main gig, and the mister has agreed to saying no sometimes, we hope to carve out more time. Not just for us to begin having a regular date night, but to have more time with our babies as a family.
Also related? Now that our babies are sleeping through the night and we have the most awesome babysitters (yes, we have a duo team) ever – we feel comfortable enough to go out on a weeknight for a movie or late night sushi or whatever. It no longer has to be a huge orchestration. Dare I say it? Has a small amount of spontaneity come back into our lives?
I probably shouldn’t talk about it too much on the internets lest I jinx it.
What this really all means is that today I’m going to make time to shower! To fuss with some make-up! To put on a fierce outfit! All for just me and my man. Who knows where this will end up? Don’t worry. I won’t keep you posted.
Do you believe that making sacrifices as a parent don’t include forgetting about yourself or your relationship? I hope so.
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