One Year Ago Today

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One year ago I didn't even know he was coming!

One year ago today, I woke up early and hopeful.  A little voice in my head told me that perhaps finally, after over a year of trying, this would be the one.  I slipped out of the bedroom while Casey was still sleeping, and quietly ripped open a pregnancy test, just as I had done on so many other mornings.

I waited for the lines to show up, and after a few seconds I saw line one and then line two.  In the sleepy fog of the morning, I thought I was looking for a plus sign, so I sadly tossed the test back into the trash can.  When I did, I took a second glance at the box, and then realized that this particular test was indicated by two dark blue lines.  The same two dark blue lines on the test in front of me.

And right then, our whole world changed.

I raced back into our bedroom, which was still dark, and shook Casey to wake up.  I shared the news, I saw his smile, and we curled up and talked for hours under the covers.

This morning, exactly one year later, I woke up early again.  This time the little voice in my head was replaced by the little voice in my heart.  The one saying, time to wake up, mom!

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And I nudged Casey once again to move over and make some room.  Back under the covers, last year’s family of two feels like a distant memory from this year’s snuggly group of three.

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And we are lucky enough that this year we have loving grandparents in town, who were happy to babysit so that Casey and I could have a rare evening out again as just two.

Last year, I wouldn’t have understood how exciting it would feel to wear a necklace, put on a bra that’s not made of stretchy spandex, and to straighten my hair.  Or that it would take 30 minutes to pry the baby monitor out of my hand to get me out the door.

And I wouldn’t have known how nice it would feel to spend two hours across the table from my husband, eating course after course of amazing food, and talking without any distractions.

But I probably would have guessed that at the end of the night, I would still sneak into the nursery for one more peek at the person who has turned our world upside down.

It is so hard to believe that just one year ago, I had no idea this change was even coming.  And that now I sit here today feeling more blessed and lucky than I knew possible.  Thank you, Cullen, for my best year yet!

 

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