Please do Not Kiss my Baby Complete Stranger.

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So I just spent the last four days with about 3,500 women, most of whom LOOOOVE babies. Their own babies, other peoples babies, babies dressed as animals, babies with animals, babies on YouTube, babies in calendars dressed as flowers, babies on pinterest, babies on flickr, babies in strollers but more specifically MY baby. Which I don’t blame them. My baby is touchable. Squeezable. Lovable. Delicious. But that doesn’t mean you can or should. After all, she is MY baby. So what do you do when there’s unsolicited baby touching?

At first it was no big deal, I was with my friends, so of course you can touch my baby! We’re friends! Then more people started showing up, sure I knew them, but not very well. They kept to touching her feet. But then complete strangers showed up. There was hair rubbing, there was cheek pinching, tummy tickling and even more feet rubbing.

THEN THERE WAS KISSING.

Do not kiss my baby. Please.

Unless a DNA test proves you related to my baby or you have seen me in my underwear, please do not kiss my baby.

I was never big on holding other peoples babies because they would cry. And then I would feel bad. “So, I know I asked if I could hold your baby but I made it cry so here have it back.” But it seems that everyone around me loves holding babies. Vivi had her fair share of snuggles from friends this weekend, which helped a lot given I was by myself. I had a friend who while in Costa Rica, a grandmotherly woman not only took her baby, she took her baby OFF HER BOOB and down the hall to show her friend.

Apparently they’re much more touchy in other countries.

But tell me, where do you draw the line as to who can hold/touch/kiss/smell/love your baby?

(Also, funny side story, upon arriving at the hotel someone picked up my baby without asking. My baby pooped on her. Talk about built in defense system.)

(Have you seen these Do Not Touch the Baby signs? Would you use one?)

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