Premature Mom GuiltMadelinePetersen
Disclaimer: My husband and I are not yet ready to have another baby. That doesn’t mean that we don’t talk about it and try to decide when is the right time for us to try again. We definitely want at least three children. We both come from larger families (I am the youngest of five and Steve is the youngest of eight, yes, eight children) and consider ourselves lucky we have so many siblings to share our life experiences with.
But here’s the thing, every time I think about having another baby I get completely stressed out. You would think I would be worried about the effort another child brings, or that I might have two kids in diapers simultaneously, but you would be wrong. I can’t for the life figure out how I might divide my attention and love on two kids, let alone more than two.
Did you know that oldest children are said to have IQ’s that are on average 3 points higher than the second child in the same family? It’s attributed to the fact that they get, on average, 3,000 more hours with their parents between the ages of four and 13.
Tate is nothing but loved. The honest truth is we fawn over his fabulousness all the time. We can’t help it. We play with him and hold him and kiss him constantly. And I just can’t imagine having the energy or time to bestow that kind of affection on subsequent children and I am left feeling guilty before another child is even on the horizon.
And then how on earth do I go from devoted most of my energy on Tate one day, to splitting that energy in half. How will Tate handle it, and will I always feel guilty that baby #2 didn’t get as much of my husband and I as baby #1?
I am sure I am prematurely dwelling on the issue, but I am curious if I am alone. Did you worry about how to split your time and affection on multiple children?