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Raise Your Hand (with Me) if Youve Ever Changed a Diaper in an Inappropriate Place

Changing table

A woman changes her baby's diaper on a table where people pay to eat food

The other day I met my friend Tami for lunch and she told me she had just seen (and photographed) something exceptionally gross: A woman changing her baby’s diaper on a coffee shop table. Not on a chair. Not on the floor. Not in the bathroom. On a table. Where people eat.

“And she wasn’t even having coffee there. She just stopped to change the diaper and then went on her way,” Tami said.

I agreed that it was utterly inappropriate and bizarre. And then I also admitted that I, too, have changed diapers in unsuitable and unfortunate places.

Oh, like you haven’t?

The worst place I’ve ever done it is on an airplane seat. I’ve always used a changing pad. And I always carry baggies to dispose of the diapers (lest you think I’m evil enough to leave a gift in the seatback pocket). Some airplane bathrooms have changing tables, some don’t. Either way, I think airplane bathrooms are possibly the filthiest places in the air or on land. I think my kids’ poop is easily cleaner than what lurks in some of those airplane bathrooms. Which is how I sleep at night after I’ve changed a diaper on an airplane seat. I’m sure some people are bothered by babies being changed on airplane seats (with or without the protection of a pad), although no one has ever raised an eyebrow at me.

Note

The note left on Heather's car

My friend Heather once changed her daughter in the hatchback of her car, only to return to her car later on to find a note left by someone offended by the public display of diapers and vaginas. I don’t understand the offense there and I’ve also changed plenty of diapers in my car. But then again, I also change diapers on airplane seats, so maybe I’m not the best barometer for what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to diaper changing locales.

You do what you have to do when and where your kid needs a diaper changed, I think. But some places are just more unsanitary and offensive than others. Like on a table at an eating establishment (never mind the woman Tami photographed changed it on an outside table it was still on a table where people eat food. And just for the sake of context, the coffee shop has a bathroom and there is also a public bathroom across the street from the coffee shop inside of City Hall. Even if there’s no changing table in either, there’s still a floor).

Where is the grossest or most inappropriate place you’ve ever changed your baby’s diaper? Or are you too clean for this conversation?

Image: Tami Solondz

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