Everyone keeps talking about the things they would do if tomorrow were the end of the world. Spend time with your loved ones, party like it’s 1999, etc. Well, here are 7 things I won’t be doing if the world’s gonna end- That’s right. Seven. For the horses of the apocalypse. Here goes:
1. Cleaning the kitchen- I’ll be damned if…well, exactly.
2. Folding laundry- see above.
3. Dieting- well, duh.
4. Abstaining from sex or alcohol- Can you tell I’ve already had a glass of wine?
5. Worrying about my child’s sleep schedule- $100 they both sleep through the night tonight. Make that $1,000,000.
6. Add abstaining from gambling to #4.
7. Listening to or reading judgmental parenting advice from…anyone. (Speaking of judgement…)
Have I mentioned I’m a non-praticing Jew? If I’m left behind tomorrow, well, now you know why.
What won’t you be doing tonight?
P.S. I probably wouldn’t be doing any of these things tonight, regardless.