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Reaching Out For Help, Because I Deserve It.

By emily |

A funny thing happens when you become a mom. Almost immediately, everything becomes about “them” and not you anymore. Your life revolves around providing a safe and stable environment for your family. You stop putting yourself first, and instead either consciously or subconsciously put yourself dead last in the race.

Or at least that’s what I’ve done to myself.

A few days ago, I wrote about how I’m just now suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety, even though my “newborn” is already 8 months old. I wrote about it, not because I want the whole internet to know my dirty business, but more specifically to provide accountability and support for myself during this difficult time.

Sure, the internet knows, but so does my husband, my extended family, my entire community both online and off. Now that they know, I no longer can deny the truth. I put pen to paper, and my heart is on my sleeve.

Today a very good friend who understands PPD and PPA extremely well (both her parents are psychiatrist, so she grew up in the mental health “business”), asked me what my battle plan was for tackling these demons.

I told her that I’m sick of being the irritable and overly crabby wife and mother, and that I just want to get better for my family. She immediately told me that wasn’t a good enough answer for her.

Her next words will stick with me for a lifetime: She told me I deserve a better life. And that I need to get better for ME, not for THEM, but for MYSELF. That it’s ok to put myself first. I am a human, and I deserves to be healthy, rearguards of my responsibilities.

And you know what? I totally agree. Today, I’m making a phone call and starting the road to mental health. Not for my four kids and for my husband, but instead for me. Because I deserve to be happy and healthy.

Find more Emily on her blog, twitter, Pinterest, and facebook.

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About emily

emily

emily

Emily Elling is a corporate interior designer and freelance writer. She lives in Indianapolis with her husband and four unintentionally hilarious children. Emily also blogs at her personal blog, DesignHER Momma. Read bio and latest posts → Read emily's latest posts →

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4 thoughts on “Reaching Out For Help, Because I Deserve It.

  1. Emily says:

    Bravo to you! It’s so hard to remember our own needs when tending to everyone else’s.

  2. Arianne says:

    You are brave and glorious and YES human and I’m so glad your friend spoke that Truth into your life. Lifting you up through this, darling. xoxo

  3. Amanda C says:

    You go girl! Yes, you deserve it, to take care of YOURself! I totally understand that feeling of losing your identity when you give birth. Suddenly, no one bothers to even know your first name, you’re just ‘mom’ now. That hit me hard when the nurse handed me my newborn and asked, “Are you ready to nurse him, mom?” Like a ton of bricks hit me in that moment. Don’t lose yourself in being a great wife and mom. :) )

  4. Beth says:

    So sorry you are going through this. I’m thankful that you received such wise words today. Big hugs to you! I’ll be praying.

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