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Remembering what Happened and Noticing what has Changed.

I had been married for two months and 25 days. I was driving a 1994 emerald green Nissan Altima. I had just reached the corner of Ramona Ave. and 9th East, I was going to turn left to head to the University of Utah when I heard “A commercial plane has flown into the Pentagon.” I looked at my husband. “What?” We turned the radio up. “It is confirmed, the two towers are down. The World Trade Centers are down.”

“That’s not possible, I was there last year, those things are huge, they can’t fall down.” my husband said.

It felt like we were being punked. A modern day War of the Worlds.

When I got home and turned the TV on this was no joke. This was real. And everyone was numb in their own way.

I saw someone write today “I think it affects me more today than it did 10 years ago. 10 years ago was shock. Now it’s so…real.”

Does it feel more…painful to you now than it did ten years ago?

Is it more real because in the last ten years I have become a mom? Because I have been to New York City five times since 2001? Or is it simply the process of recovering from such an event in our own personal way?

Regardless.

I will never forget where I was when I heard.

And I will never forget the feeling in St. Paul’s Chapel. The noisy, busy, thriving and recovering city outside and just…silence inside. Reverent…heartbroken silence.

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  • Dried Flowers from Japanese Grade School Students. 1 of 14
    Dried Flowers from Japanese Grade School Students.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Poster from Oklahoma. 2 of 14
    Poster from Oklahoma.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Thousands of Paper Cranes from Japan. 3 of 14
    Thousands of Paper Cranes from Japan.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Lucky Elephant. 4 of 14
    Lucky Elephant.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Newspaper Quilt. 5 of 14
    Newspaper Quilt.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Headstone Outside St. Paul’s Chapel. Looking towards WTC Site. 6 of 14
    Headstone Outside St. Paul's Chapel. Looking towards WTC Site.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Firefighter Memorial. 7 of 14
    Firefighter Memorial.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Senbazuru, Japanese Peace Cranes 8 of 14
    Senbazuru, Japanese Peace Cranes
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Candles. 9 of 14
    Candles.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Hymn Books and Pews. 10 of 14
    Hymn Books and Pews.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Stuffed Animals for Rescuers from Children. 11 of 14
    Stuffed Animals for Rescuers from Children.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Iron Cross. 12 of 14
    Iron Cross.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Memories of Victims. 13 of 14
    Memories of Victims.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.
  • Sacristy. 14 of 14
    Sacristy.
    World Trade Center memorial at St. Paul's Chapel, NYC.

All photos © Casey Mullins 2009

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