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Saying Goodbye To My Baby-Making Days

Have you said goodbye to your baby-making days?

How can you be sure that you are done having children?

I am 32 years old, the queen of horrible pregnancies, and honestly, two kids are pretty difficult (for me) to manage.

Yet, as I look into the eyes of this new, gorgeous little glow worm, I feel giant, stinging mom-tears welling up beneath my eyelids, and a painful lump forming in my throat.

Kara is one lovely baby, and the fact that this is my last experience with a newborn makes me want to cry, and cry, and cry some more.

There are a hundred reasons, rooted in logic, why I should not have another child. Good reasons. Really good reasons.

Honestly, I would rather eat broken shards of glass than actually be pregnant again, but wow, I really love having children.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way, right? I know that I will have a rush of baby fever again in my life. In fact, I know that those feelings will ebb and flow right along with my hormones each month, and I am really afraid of being tempted by those urges a few years down the road.

I guess I can’t say for certain what will happen. Luckily, I do feel that our family is perfect and complete the way it is, but I know myself, and I know that there will be a day, eventually, when I will convince myself that being pregnant again might not be so bad.

Have you ever struggled with these feelings? How do you cope, and does it ever get any easier?

Read more of Crissy’s writing at Dear Crissy.
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Baby fever: When do you know your family’s complete?

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