Second Time Around Is NOT Like The First!Rebekah Kuschmider
Hi! I’m Rebekah and I’m the new kid here at Baby’s First Year. Some of you might recognize me from Being Pregnant or perhaps my personal blog Mom-in-a-Million. Or my Twitter feed. Or my Facebook page. Or my stumbling attempts to do Pinterest.
Anyway, enough about my social media outlets. I’m a second-time mom with a 4 year old son who I’ll call C and a 5 week old daughter who I’ll call N. I’m married to a great guy and we all live just outside DC. (I’m a bit squirrely about my family’s privacy so I don’t use their full names or post their photos. Hope y’all understand!). I used to do non-profit work until about a year ago when I started staying home with my kid, now kids. Plural. Two kids who have very different needs and not just because of their respective ages. Apparently, kids really are individuals and a common gene pool does not ensure common characteristics. Who knew?
I had assumed that after 4 plus years of being a mom to one child, I was prepared to be a mom to a second child. And in some ways I was; breastfeeding the second time has been a snap and my swaddling skills came right back to me. Except…my daughter hates being swaddled. C needed to be swaddled until he was about 9 months and if he got a hand free there was no sleep happening for anybody. But N thinks the swaddle is evil and squirms like I’ve filled the thing with red ants if I try and bundle her arms into it. She sleeps best with her hands up around her ears.
There are other little differences between the two of them that I never expected. Like C was a spitter. He would spit up like the fountains outside the Bellagio and his wardrobe for the first year of his life always involved a bib. The only thing N spits out is pacifiers. She apparently thinks they’re dumb and want no part of them. C used a binky until his 4th birthday and to this day expresses a longing for them.
Oh! And this baby? Fusses to be put down! C was always looking for someone to interact with him, preferably with physical contact. But baby N likes her space and is often happy just to wiggle around on a playmat by herself. And she likes a little space to fall asleep too. None of the intense cuddling that C would insist on.
In other words, my whole bag of baby tricks is useless for my second child. I’m right back at the beginning of learning to be a mom, even though I’ve been at it for years. Because I’ve never been this baby’s mom before.
Was your second (or third or fourth or…) child different from the first? What did you have to do differently?
Photo credit: photo stock
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