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Sh*t My Breast Pump Says (from Babble Readers!)

By Danielle |

Does your breast pump talk?

Sitting down for one of my real first pumping sessions after Addison was born, I swore my breast pump was trying to send me subliminal messages.

I remember thinking, No way. This is not happening … a breast pump can’t TALK!

Well, I guess I was wrong, since I’m not the only one out there who has heard their breast pump delivering secret messages …

Melissa Sher wrote a lovely essay on her talking Medela, which sparked a ton of comments from moms insisting their breast pumps were also chattin’ it up with them during those intimate pumping sessions.

So we asked readers on our Facebook page to tell us the phrases they’ve heard their breast pump mouthing off, and the submissions rolled in. Ranging from the encouraging (“You can do it!”) to the random (“Yellow paint”), these answers just might help soothe those moms who thought they were crazy for, um, hearing things. You’re not alone!

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Sh*t My Breast Pump Says

Boobie Food

Submitted by Rachele

What has your breast pump said to you? Tell us in the comments!

Read more from Danielle on DanielleElwood.com
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Read more on Baby’s First Year from Danielle:

Children Strengthened My Pro-Choice Views
Breast Milk Is the Best Medicine
I Am a Cloth Diaper Junkie!

 

More on Babble

About Danielle

danielle

Danielle

Danielle Elwood is a straight-shooting Florida based mom of three and emerging indie author. Read bio and latest posts → Read Danielle's latest posts →

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21 thoughts on “Sh*t My Breast Pump Says (from Babble Readers!)

  1. Bridget says:

    I love this post, especially seeing that I’m on antibiotics right now and have to pump and dump for 2 weeks. I am very happy to know I’m not the only one who has their pump moo at them! My little Bessie may be thrown out the window by the end of this 2 week period if she does it one more time, though…

  2. paulina says:

    Ha! I’m pumping at my desk right now.

  3. emily says:

    mine said “Big help” —-i swear ! other people heard it too ;-)

  4. Heather says:

    The first couple weeks it seemed to be saying Lo-ser! Lo-ser! Now it saya Ru-Paul! Ru-Paul! Guess that makes me a supermodel! Lol!

  5. Emily says:

    Ha! I’m glad I’m not the only one!! My pump either says “Donna Karan” or “don’t let air in”. So funny. :)

  6. heather says:

    not amused..sorry

  7. Toni says:

    My Medela PIS said Wacko! Wacko! and then it said Ru-Paul! Ru-Paul! My Medela freestyle doesn’t talk to me, which is kinda sad.

  8. kaitlin says:

    I swear mine says ‘white gold, white gold’ cause I always call boobie milk liquid white gold!

  9. Katie says:

    Booty Call

  10. Whozat says:

    I pretty much exclusively pumped for the first 6 weeks, until my daughter learned to latch, and my pump talked ALL the time.

    I maintain that it’s like an auditory Rorschach test, in that what you hear reflects where your mind is at the moment.

    The day that I hit “rock bottom” and came the closest to quitting, it was saying “It doesn’t pay. It doesn’t pay.” That’s when I picked up the phone and called my doula / LLL leader.

    Eighteen months later – my daughter still nursing – I was pumping to help out a friend with a newborn who was struggling with supply issues. Then it said “Filling the hole. Filling the hole.

  11. DesignHER Momma says:

    yoda, yoda, yoda…..

  12. Gretchen says:

    Anyone that heard my Pump in Style by Medela agreed it said, “Eat at Moe’s” overr and over and over again. The phrase has no relevance to me. That’s just what the darn thing chanted.

  13. tms says:

    Oh my gosh, I forgot all about that. I’m shopping for a new pump, I need to know what kind doesn’t talk!

  14. Annie says:

    Yes! So glad to see this! When I was pumping, I heard “squeeze it squeeze it squeeze it”! I googled “my breast pump is talking to me” and NOTHING came up! I thought I was the only one!

  15. Mama Lady says:

    That’s so funny…I use a different brand of pump and it talks too! I thought it was only me. Glad I’m not alone!

  16. Jenious says:

    I too am pumping right now and it’s saying, “I’m tired.” Sounds different each time though!

  17. Emily says:

    Mine used to say “broccoli”!

  18. Amanda says:

    This is hilarious! I swear mine says “Get that milk!” and “Your so cool!”. Glad I’m not alone here!!

  19. Mel says:

    Hahaha — I was just talking about this a few weeks back with my husband. My pump says something different each time. I find it to be a rather prolific rapper!

  20. Melissa says:

    My son’s name! Over and over again! Possibly to remind me who Im putting my breasts through this torture for!! hahahaha!

  21. Halley says:

    Mine says “time to pump, time to pump” but on a lower setting it said “pump away, pump away” lol. This is the best post yet!

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