One of the hardest things about having to wait so long for another baby was the emptiness I felt in my arms and the physical ache I felt in my heart that I didn’t have a warm little body to snuggle and rock to sleep. Addie became far too gangly around three years old and even before she became too big, she’d ask to get into bed before I was done snuggling with her. I could still cuddle with her in bed but it was never the same as having a warm little body asleep in your arms or on your chest. Vivi is already huge and while she still fits in my arms and on my chest, she too is beginning to like the comfort of her bed more than rocking with me in the chair.
I have nary a musical bone in my body unless dancing counts but I have always been affected by music even though I can’t read it, sing it or do much of anything with it. I have been knocked weepy by songs out of nowhere and while I may not be the world’s best singer, I have always sung to my babies. I felt like I was cheating on Addie when I would sing to baby VIvi, so now I only sing to Vivi while Addie is at school.
There are five songs in particular, some that I sing and some that I just listen to, that always render me a weepy mess as I hold, or even think about, my sleeping baby.
Baby Mine – Alison Krause 1 of 5I sang this song every night to Addie since the day she came home from the hospital until about two years ago. I can't bring myself to sing it to Vivi because it's Addie's song, always will be.
Hear 'Baby Mine' on YouTube
In My Daugther’s Eyes – Martina McBride 2 of 5This is another Addie song. I know there's some people who despise Martina's existence, but this song, it's exactly how I feel about that big blue eyed baby I gave birth to 7 years ago.
Hear 'In My Daugther's Eyes' on YouTube
Never Grow Up – Taylor Swift 3 of 5THIS. This is Vivi's song. I can't even make it through the first part without welling up into tears. One day when Vivi was only a few weeks old Addie turned it on, held Vivi on the couch and sang it to her. I cried so hard it was embarrassing.
Hear 'Never Grow Up' on YouTube
Stay Awake – Julie Andrews 4 of 5If I have a love affair for another woman, it's Julie Andrews. I love her so so much. The way she sings this song in the movie, so comforting. Knowing that she'll never be able to sing again? Breaks my heart.
Hear 'Stay Awake' on YouTube
You’ll be in my Heart – Tarzan 5 of 5Not so much the Phil Collins version, but the Mama Gorilla version in the movie. Such a mom song for a little baby. This one I can share between Addie and Vivi.
Hear 'You'll be in My Heart' on YouTube