Tattoos are Forever
When I was 18, I wanted a Tinker Bell tattoo on my lower back. I don’t know what kept me from getting it, but I shudder at the thought these days.
I was never very adventurous when it came to body modification. While my girlfriends got their noses and belly buttons pierced and tattooed butterflies and zodiac signs in easily visible parts of their body, the most daring thing I had done was get a second hole in my ears.
That all changed when I turned 24 years old. I was out of college, learning to navigate corporate America, and for the first time in my life I felt supremely aware of who I was and what I wanted. I was engaged to be married to a kind and funny guy who had several tattoos. Most of the time, I didn’t even notice he had them. Out of the blue one day a very distinct urge to take the jump and get my first tattoo hit. I sat on the thought for months, tossing ideas around in my mind. Tattoos are so permanent (well, unless you’re willing to invest thousands for pricey and painful laser removal). That kind of permanency made me nervous. What could I possibly want on my body for forever?
I eventually decided on a Sailor Jerry-style swallow bird on my hip. I did a lot of reading on the symbolism of that particular design and felt it best represented where I was in my life. Getting it done was far less dramatic than I anticipated, and while I usually forgot it was even there, I’d find myself smiling whenever I caught sight of it.
Two years later, my new husband and I moved to San Francisco (a long time dream of mine) and I decided to get another tattoo to mark the occasion: A bird cage with an open door and a yellow rose winding through it (like the yellow rose bush in front of our first apartment in the city). My third came a year and half after that, when my daughter was 3 months old. I settled on on a dove with the word “Foreverly” scrolled underneath in her honor.
I’m currently exploring options for my fourth tattoo for Arlo. I haven’t decided on what it will be just yet, but I know I want something on my skin forever that represents how he has changed my life for the better. Having symbols of important experiences and people in my life forever etched in my skin doesn’t scare me anymore. It’s become a thing of beauty and pride for me. A history of sorts and part of my story.
I love watching my 18-month-old daughter Everly trace the outline of the bird I got in her honor with her small hands. If the day comes that she or Arlo decide that they want a tattoo too, I’ll encourage them to wait until they are truly mature and confident in their decision. I’ll tell them the story of the almost Tinker Bell and how glad I was that I waited until I found something that was truly symbolic.
I will teach my children that tattoos aren’t a thing to be ashamed of or discouraged, but they are a decision that requires a lot of forethought and an understanding of their permanency. And in the meantime, I look forward to the next life event that’s worth commemorating forever on my skin.
~Melissa
Do other moms regret their tattoos now that they’re parents? Click here to find out what Babble moms think of their ink!
This topic, and the breastfeeding in public topic have come up quite a bit lately here on this blog. More interesting than the actual posts to me, are reading the many comments below them describing various opinions and views. That said, I’ll throw my own out:
Tattoos are trashy. I have a tattoo that symbolizes my grandparents who were very special to me. I don’t regret getting it. But it is still trashy and it wouldn’t be something I showed off to my boss. If someone wants to be a rock star or a skateboarder, tattoos are almost the first requirement on your resume and it seems cliche and sad that people feel obligated to get them to fill that image. For everyone else, it just becomes an awkward, unprofessional mark and topic of conversation behind your back. There is nothing natural or organic about injecting an artificial ink under your skin. Not to mention, in 10 years – those tattoos are probably going to look MUCH different and may not even be distinguishable.
I’m guilty of doing this myself, but I GUARENTEE, no one who has ever passed away, has looked down from heaven and thought “I’m so glad my grandbaby got tatted up in my honor.” And when my children are grown, they will remember their childhood from photos, memories, and mementos collected over their lifetime – not at a faded blotchy mark on my skin.
Melissa – your tattoos are very pretty and interesting, but I hope that this doesn’t promote any of your followers to run out and ink themselves.
Wow Erin, way to judge. Not everyone gets tattoos to show off. Most people I’ve known get tattoos as a very personal thing. I’ve worked with people who were tattooed, and NEVER was it a topic of conversation behind their back. Nobody thought it was unprofessional. Some tattoos can be trashy, sure. But I think it’s WAY over the top to say that ALL tattoos are trashy. My parents have tattoos. One of my family members asked my opinions when she was choosing one when I was a young woman. And contrary to what you think, it is something to remember from my childhood, in addition to the photos, memories, and mementos I have. I have the opposite opinion you do of Melissa’s tattoos and article. I hope it DOES encourage people. Not to get a tattoo per se, but that if they do get one, make it one that means something.
Ouch. “Tattoos are trashy.” And you are judgmental. What’s that you say? Not always, not about everything, it depends on the circumstance? Yeah, exactly.
Melissa, tears welled up in my eyes looking at your gorgeous tattoos that had so much meaning. I guess “Foreverly” is what really got me- cry chest! I think tattoos in generally are so beautiful, and yours are true art. I teach kindergarten and have an ankle tattoo: a stack of books with an apple balanced on top. Everyone who sees it says, “Ooh, lovely, do you teach?” I’m already planning how I want to commemorate my son when he’s born in October.
I love tattoos, and no matter what was going on in my life, I would want to get more. Having special things to memorialize makes the art even better. Thank you for showing such a lovely and classy example.
Like Erin, I’m really enjoying the experience of reading everyone’s thoughts on this issue… unlike Erin, however, I don’t think tattoos are trashy. I really find the argument that it’s unnatural interesting, because we humans have done a LOT of body modification throughout recorded history. Currently, our society encourages women to put holes in their earlobes and remove all their body hair, but in other times and places those things would mark her as a freak. I don’t understand why it matters to anyone else if a parent has some permanent artwork on their skin, anymore than it should matter what hairstyle they’re sporting. Hey, while we’re at it, namecalling each other over personal decisions about our bodies… let’s reopen the dreaded circumcision debate!
You are right, it was a judgmental comment…but It’s also an opinion. Not the word of the lord. That’s what this is about. Sharing opinions, commenting on topics, and expressing your views. If everyone left only “oh so lovely,” “oh, that’s great!” on every single blog post- there would be no thought-provoking or interesting conversation. Please tell me, Ashlie or Julie, do you have no judgements about anything? Parents spanking their children? Parents putting their children in pageants? Tattoos are just something that rub me the wrong way. I think tattoos deface a beautiful body that god created. They are also cliche, over-used, and dangerous (don’t even get me started on a friend who went to a very popular, clean, facility and got an infection when the needle cut too deep). Sorry if it was offensive. I think Melissa is gorgeous. I follow her blog and appreciate that her tattoos are not meaningless- but that doesn’t change the fact that if I were interviewing her for a job in my company and her tattoos were showing, I would be turned off.
This is so interesting to me because I am definitely at a stage in my life where I am considering getting a tattoo. I moved West from the Mid-West and I see a major difference in tattoo culture. If I was still living in my small town in Michigan I probably would not get one….maybe it is because my parents live close by, maybe it is because I had a professional job, maybe just because of the culture. Now that I am out West, it is amazing to see how many more people have tattoos. I have been on a few job interviews and most of these interviews seem to be “how cool is she” interviews. One of the first questions they asked was how many tattoos do you have? I almost felt stupid saying ‘none’.
I have been a follower of Melissa’s for a very long time and think she is such a beautiful girl both inside and out and love her many ways of expression. I am not yet a mom, but cannot wait for the day that I feel so overwhelmingly passionate about my children and life that I need to brand myself in some way.
Melissa,
I think your tattoos are beautiful, and the negative comments about tattoos being “trashy” is plain ignorant. And I don’t know what would possess someone to write such a negative comment- it’s fine if you feel that way, but we could all use a little less negativity in our lives!
I have a couple tattoos myself, and when people ask me “What are you going to look like as an 80 year old”, I say “wrinkly like you, but more interesting”.
Love your posts!
i have a small tattoo along my bra line/rib cage. it took me a long time to decide but i felt that this was something i truly wanted. even when i’m 80yo + wrinkly.
i love your tats and I agree that it is something to decide when older + mature…..thanks for sharing this!
I don’t understand why there is such a need to praise blogger’s every word/post/opinion. Melissa posted about her tattoos and people have different opinions. Get over it. We don’t have to praise a blogger just because they are what they are.
I dont think it is trashy.. it is her body.Her kids are gonna grow up and they will have a awesome mommy. I am 13,my mommy,and daddy have tattoos. its not a bad thing. get over it.
thanks,Jordan
I’m 23 and have two tattoos. the first one was 3 stars going from biggest to smallest on the back calf muscle. Those are the 3 people who have always been there for me. My second one is on the bottom of my wrist that says love. because i know no matter what love will always find a way through even the toughest times. I have put a lot of thought into these. i also want something for my daughter after she is born. people need to not judge. these are just ways to express yourself. so some may have more than others and some may not have any at all its a personal choice.
Erins comment about tats being trashy is by no means ignorant! it’s reality. Taking hmmm 98% of professional careers and the people that hire for them it is a turn off, they DO most certainly become part of the “decision” (whether that’s fair or not). My hubby has quite a few tattoos and I don’t mind them however I am upset that I know VERY well the they WILL hinder him from obtaining multiple positions. I recently turned 30 and have always said that I do not have any interest in being inked myself…I have to say that….until he introduced me to an amazing artist! I will be sitting down with him soon to come up with a draft of something that will absolutely be with me forever that I will cherish forever! There are many factors that need to weighed out before obtaining any tats…I hope that when anyone decides to get inked that they think about it from every angle and maybe wait a couple months, HECK, a year! Your not going anywhere
I am a mother of two and I have a few tattoos and multiple piercings this is who I am and what I like. I agree it a personal choice and someone should be able to make the choice without being put down for it. Having them doesn’t make you a bad person. I do understand people have opinions about tatts and piercings, believe me I know I hear it from my mom all the time, however I wouldn’t let her tell me I was wrong for this. I will not be afraid to be who I am markings holes and all. OK so that kind of stuff isn’t for you or you have an experience you would sooner forget or in this case remove, name calling isn’t the answer. I’m sure there’s people out there that wouldn’t appreciate it very much if I called them names or judged them on the fact that they don’t have tattoos or piercings. Although my mom doesn’t like mine she has also taught me a valuable lesson “Don’t judge others based on your priorities” this is a lesson she and I have had to work at everyday and I truly believe others should too.
I love tattoos and yours are beautiful! I have a lily on my shoulder and I’m planning more in honor of my 2 boys. I know that tattoos can be a hindrance when applying to certain jobs, but if you place them where a boss wouldn’t ever see them then what’s the problem?? My view on tattoos is that they are a work of art just on a different type of canvas…some I like, some I don’t…some are really awesome and some are trashy, but don’t judge people who have them…because like a piece of art on the wall if you don’t like it, don’t look.
Erin i agree that they arent accepted in the professional world. But theres only so many people on this earth that our reasons for getting them vary. Some people just show off or like pretty pictures. And like this blogger, some of us pick our tattoos with careful care. They mean something. Some of us are very in love with art, and draw pictures on our bodies as we would draw one on a canvas for the whole world to see. So no, not all of them are trashy. But like you said we all have our very different opinions.
Savannah i agree, the ones i will be getting ill make sure that are in places i can hide. No arms, chest or face.