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Teething + Boob + Playground = Embarrassing!


See them? See the teeth?

I was feeling all warm and fuzzy and kumbaya about these celebs who breastfeed in public when I whipped it out at the playground this morning until Abby bit me. There I was, feeling full of hippie love and granola fullness in the balmy sunshine, lovingly cradling my giant infant in my lap, when I let out a shocked shriek and ruined the whole picture. Thank goodness I’m not Maggie Gyllenhall! That would have been a really embarrassing Gawker moment!

Abby’s remarkably good-natured about the fact that she’s getting four teeth at once all up top, advancing up through her gums like a marauding army. I check them every few hours and it seems like there’s more tooth every time. I thank my (and her) lucky stars that she doesn’t get the angry black blood-blisters and low-grade fevers that Penny got with every new tooth, at least. But like I said, she just sails along with her sunshiney smile, taking all that gum-pain in stride. So maybe I should be remarkably good-natured about these affectionate nip-nips.

It’s not like my nipples are so special. The child gnaws on everything. The high-chair tray. Assorted toys. My used Kleenex.

Penny used to get super-scared when I yelped in pain, but Abby just rears back and grins at me, as if to say “I know, I just used these things!” But then she stops, or is done eating. And she really doesn’t do it very hard I have friends whose babies draw blood! She just draws yelps!

It’s times like these when I have a secret envy of moms who didn’t breastfeed. Oh, tsk all you want, but their babies are completely fine, and they sleep at night. And they can take cold medicine, which I can’t do right now, and I am suffering! I’m so clogged up, the Neti Pot can’t bust through! (That’s a lot of information and a gross mental picture! I apologize!)

Then again, I don’t have to pack food it packs itself. And 3am feeds are a breeze. Okay, boobs rule. For me. No judgment!

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