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The 5 Best Things Your Baby Can Do For Your Birthday

The Five Best Things Your Baby Can Do For Your BirthdayHaving now spent two birthdays with a baby on my hip, I’ve come to realize that infants aren’t great gift givers. Unlike toddlers, they can’t make anything for you except full diapers and I somehow doubt that the message “Happy birthday, mommy — have some poop!” will make its way into a Hallmark card anytime soon.

That said, there are plenty of things babies can do — or, at least, avoid doing — to help brighten your birthday. They can:

* Avoid spitting up on porous surfaces, such as blankets, rugs and the first new sweater mommy bought herself in over a year. Anything wipeable — wooden floors, tiles, Daddy’s golf clubs — are A-okay!

* Not claw at their own faces with the fingernails you keep forgetting to trim.

* Play quietly when you’re trying to get chores or work done. As you can see, Scrunchy Face is actually doing that right now or else this blog post wouldn’t have a prayer of being finis—wait, baby, shhhhh shhhh, Mommy’s almost done!

* Sleep through the night.

* Sleep through the night.

* Smile!

* Sleep through the night.

Did I forget any? Oh yeah — Sleep through the night.

What would you add to this list?


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More from Alice:

7 Reasons My Baby Would Be an Awesome Baby DJ

7 Everyday Kitchen Items to Distract Your Baby 

I Was a Failed Baby Tweeter

The Top 20 Baby Photo Blogs of 2013

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