Postpartum depression seems to still be such a taboo subject. As someone who has suffered from postpartum depression for two out of three of my children, I think it is something we all should be talking about more instead of sweeping under the rug.
With my second son my depression was the worst. I had a 26-hour-long labor trying desperately to avoid a c-section a second time, and after a failed VBAC try I felt exactly how most do… like a failure. I was a failure as a woman, I couldn’t give birth to my son. Yes… it was about me. Which there is nothing wrong with, although so many people make women feel like their feelings should be discounted, which is a huge problem.
I say to this day, if my husband (who saved my sanity and probably my life) wasn’t laid off during the time Ben joined our family, I don’t think I would have made it through the deep depression I sank into. I wouldn’t get out of bed to take care of him in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t budge when he cried… nothing. I was completely disconnected from him.
And I never realized I actually had postpartum depression until after my daughter was born in April. It was like mothering night and day. I couldn’t even compare the two experiences at all. With every cry and wimper I was wide awake and up to see what was wrong. And I think that my birth experience was to blame all the way around.
Why am I writing about postpartum depression? Because it impacts so many mothers and we need to let those who may feel like they are not doing great, and might have postpartum depression, that it is OK to feel this way, and there is nothing wrong with you!
You are still a great mother, and there are so many ways to get help!
Talk to people, family, friends … find people who could help you to get the help you need to overcome this disease!
Have you had any experience with postpartum depression?
Were you ashamed?