While Margaret was dreaming of Karlee’s life, Karlee had her own dreams about Margaret’s.
So begins Act II of
The Greener Grass: A Soap Opera In Two Acts
Karlee waves hello to her neighbor, Margaret, as she loads her kids into her luxury SUV.
Karlee looks down at her pajamas that have almond butter and yogurt smeared on the leg. She then looks over at Margaret’s stylish outfit, complete with really gorgeous dark grey ankle boots. Karlee shuffles along in her Crocs. She goes back inside the house, tugging her toddler and balancing her six month-old on her hip as Margaret pulls out of her driveway, waves through her clean windshield and drives off to drop her daughters at daycare before she heads off to her high-profile job.
“Oh, to live like Margaret.” Karlee dreams.
Cue dream sequence music
Margaret kisses her daughters goodbye at daycare and then zips over to the coffee shop. She parks and hops inside where she grabs a newspaper to read while she’s in line. When it’s her turn she orders her favorite iced latte and a butter croissant “for here” she says.
After sitting down and reading for a few minutes with her breakfast, she takes the remainder of her coffee to go, gets back in the car and turns on her Ipod to a podcast of “This American Life” during her commute.
When she gets to work, she greets her coworkers and has a quick chat with one before going into her office to pump and look at her morning e-mail.
When she’s done pumping, she opens the door to her office, and another colleague pops his head in to ask her if she’s free for lunch.
“We’re going to try the new Thai place downstairs!”
“Sure!” says Margaret. She gets up to go to the bathroom.
When she gets back she spends the remainder of the morning doing some very important paperwork, uninterrupted.
At lunch she and a few colleagues laugh about things their kids said.
When she gets back to the office she has a couple of meetings, a few phone calls, goes to the bathroom a couple more times, pumps again, and then heads out to pick up her daughters from daycare.
END DREAM SEQUENCE
Karlee looks up to see that her six-month-old has spilled water all over the floor and her toddler has drawn on the living room wall with a red Sharpie he found under the couch.
Meanwhile, here’s what Margaret’s day really looks like:
After sitting in traffic on the way to daycare, she tries to find a shortcut to work, and gets lost. She’s already 10 minutes late to her meeting so stopping for coffee or breakfast is completely out of the question. Her stomach growls as she tries to use the map on her phone to figure out where she is.
“Shoulda splurged for the GPS system in the car!!” She curses at herself.
When Margaret finally gets into her meeting and apologizes to the client she has held up, her boss gives her a passive aggressive smile and makes a snide comment about always waiting for her.
By the time the meeting is over, it’s 10:45 and Margaret still hasn’t had any breakfast, or coffee. Her head is starting to pound.
By lunchtime, she finally makes her way to the convenience store in her building where she buys a crappy tuna sandwich and a Diet coke. She eats them in her office while trying to catch up on her e-mails and prepare for her next meeting.
“Today officially sucks,” she says.
Twenty minutes later, she gets a call from daycare that her three-year-old has thrown up all over herself and must be picked up immediately.
Cue sappy music, cut to commercial.
(Margaret still gets to go to the bathroom all by herself, though.)