It would have been great if I had spent this night with my husband, but the truth is, we go on dates often. It’s rare that I take the time to really focus on myself. As mothers we are so focused on our children, our husbands, and our household, that we rarely take the time to think about what we need.
As I sat in the theater tonight watching the show, I thought to myself that this was the first time in my entire life that I’d seen or done something like this by myself. Before I had children, I was always so social and wanted to have someone by my side to do something with all of the time. Now that I have the girls with me all day every day, I realize that it is necessary for me to do things all by myself.
My life revolves around my two girls. I love them more than anything and want to do everything possible to keep them safe, comfortable, and happy. But doing that can be exhausting. It can wear on me. After I put the girls down each night, most of the night is spent by myself after my husband goes to bed. Although I am getting alone time, I am usually doing work or finding something around the apartment that needs to be done.
Tonight I set aside my to-do list and really enjoyed spending time with me. The me who didn’t have a care in the world. The me who knew that my girls were sleeping peacefully in their beds and that my husband was home taking care of them. I didn’t text, I didn’t call, I just enjoyed spending the time away from the apartment and by myself.
For once, I was truly able to experience the city in a way that I’d never done before. As I walked home through Times Square, by myself, I looked up and stared at the lights, the people walking by, and all that this city has to offer. We don’t go to Times Square often, but when we do, it’s always with the girls and I am focusing on them and their safety that I don’t spend time to take in my surroundings. Tonight there was no one else to focus on but me, myself, and I.
The invigorating feeling that I experienced as I walked home was something that I hadn’t felt in a while. But it was a feeling that I enjoyed. It’s my passion in life to take care of my kids and my family, but every once in a while it’s okay to be passionate about myself.
More from Lauren on Baby’s First Year:
Read more from Lauren at her personal blog, A Mommy in the City, where she chronicles her life living in New York City with a suburban mentality. For more updates, follow Lauren on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram! Check out more of Lauren’s Babble posts at Being Pregnant and Baby’s First Year.