I was reunited with my girls yesterday afternoon after a five day business trip. This was the longest that I had ever been away from either of them. Leaving them is always so bittersweet. I know that I need my time alone, but I also know that I will miss them dearly when I’m gone. And I did.
I always get nervous when I have to leave Avery. Even if it’s only for a couple of days. I’m never nervous about the people that I’m leaving her with. I know they are perfectly capable of doing everything that I do when I’m home with the girls, but I’m always fearful that she thinks I’m leaving her for good or that she won’t remember me when I get back.
I realize that these thoughts are completely irrational and crazy. But I’d be lying to you if I told you that they didn’t cross my mind. My oldest daughter Harlan is three and understands when I have to go away on business trips. She tells me she looks forward to seeing me on FaceTime and the surprise that I will bring home for her from my trip. But Avery’s not old enough to understand quite yet. She will be soon, but in the meantime she just sees me leaving not having any idea where I’m going or when I’ll return.
When I did return home yesterday, it was an incredible feeling of both happiness and relief. I couldn’t wait to get those two little girls in my arms. To have both of them running up to me with arms wide open screaming my name is one of the most amazing feelings that I could have ever experienced. It’s one of those moments that makes your heart skip a beat.
For the next few hours we cuddled up on the couch together making up for lost time. I was excited to cook them dinner and put their pajamas on for bed. All of the mundane tasks that I do with them every single day didn’t seem that mundane anymore. I was recharged from my trip and ready to be the work-at-home mom again. I was whole again.
Even though there is that ache in your heart when you have to leave, it’s the joy of reunions and the love that comes rushing back that makes everything worth it in the end.
More from Lauren on Baby’s First Year:
Read more from Lauren at her personal blog, A Mommy in the City, where she chronicles her life living in New York City with a suburban mentality. For more updates, follow Lauren on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram! Check out more of Lauren’s Babble posts at Being Pregnant and Baby’s First Year.