The Kind of Not Really Only Second Child
Today I put my only other child on a bus bound for first grade leaving my baby and me alone for a good majority of the day. I may have complained wildly about not becoming pregnant with Vivi sooner, but I’m learning that this almost seven year spacing of my girls may be the best thing that ever happened to our family.
A flight attendant commented that “gap babies” are the new hot thing in parenting, leaving at least a six year space in between siblings. While ours was unintentional, I can see why some families choose to do it on purpose. She went onto say that her kids were 22 months apart (as my only sister and I are) and she wouldn’t wish such a thing on her worst enemy. The theory is when your kids are close together it’s harder in the beginning but easier down the road. Two in diapers at the same time? I’m going to be honest and say that’s not for me.
If the space between kids isn’t quite big enough many parents feel as though they JUST got out of the “little kid/baby” stage only to start all over again. Many of my friends with kids around four years apart say that it is just like starting over, that they forget about how much work babies are.
Addie has been so independent for so long that bringing Vivi home was like bringing her home to three parents. Addie is capable of not only helping, but understanding what needs to be done and that she needs to share time and attention with her sister. I also don’t have to worry about Addie trying to smother her with a pillow, love or her whole body.
Addie is pretty much the best big sister ever.
I’m going to miss having her around since she truly is Vivi’s favorite toy, and vice versa. They have a magical little relationship that only sisters can have and despite Addie’s CONSTANT QUESTIONS, she is a huge help to me, especially when it comes to Vivi. I’m excited for 2:20 today when Addie bursts through the door, runs to her little sister and tells her about her day. Until then? I’m really excited to have Vivi as my only child for seven hours, five days a week.
From only child to sister: How many kids is best?
My newborn son is 6 years younger than my other son and I think it’s great. For me, personally, I never wanted to have two kids in diapers at the same time or to have a double stroller. I love the fact that my older one can keep an eye on the baby if I run to the bathroom or that if I have the chance to sleep in for an hour or so in the morning after a rough night with the baby, he can entertain himself. I am almost 6 years older than my brother and by having such a difference we were never in the same school at the same time so there was less competition between us and we had different interests. Different age spreads work best for different people but for us I think this is great.
For me the starting all over again made me feel sick. We have three; 25 months between 1 and 2, 18 (ouch) between 2 and 3. I wanted them all close together. I felt like then once we were done with diapers and bottles, we were done and never going back. More of chunky phases. It is not always fun, but it’s always loud and something new everyday. It works for us…although the other way may have worked too. Who knows.
I like the age gap. Mine are 6 years apart as well (and my oldest started first grade yesterday too *yikes*). I do believe that my oldest is the baby’s favorite toy, yes. Very nice. And fun to watch.
I’m 6 years older than my sister and growing up I hated it. It’s not such a big deal now, but we obviously live very different lives. I’m married with a kid, she’s a junior in college in NYC. To me, she’ll always be a baby, and to her, I’ll always be mom 2. My son is 13 months, and we are currently trying for number 2. I want to have a large family so I got to get ticking!
My daughter just celebrated her 9th birthday and my son was born in January, She really has been a great help. She can play with, soothe, and even feed the baby. And loves every minute of it. I see benefits to having children close in age. It does provide companionship. But I have also seen the benefits of “gap” siblings.
I love this! My second child will be at least 6 years younger than my son (not by choice, either.) It has been one of the many stresses of my secondary infertility. Casey, your family gives me so much hope! Thank you, so, so much.
My older two are 8 and 5, younger two are 20 months and 6 months. I LOVE seeing how much the older two love on their younger brothers. I LOVE how close the older two are and hope the younger two will be the same. On the other hand, it was a bit odd to have the older two go off to school and be home with the younger two…kind of like starting all over. And right now, due to the ages of the younger two, I feel we’re often split with Dad going with the older two while I stay home with the babies (since I still nurse the youngest)…I’m loving the baby age again, I’m loving our family and find the baby age so much easier because I know how fast it goes. But I am kind of looking forward to the toddler being older.
But it does help to know that we did this before, we can do it again.