# The Math Behind Person Poop

By Natalie |

Tonight we hit a milestone in gastronomy! Huck ate exactly 1/3 of a jar of baby food before becoming entirely bored and reaching for some boobs. (Prunes, for those keeping score at home.)

Most days we try for some steel cut oats at breakfast (his attention span lasts five mouthfuls, tops) and some fruits or vegetables at dinner time. At this point I’d say his diet is 97.5% breast milk, 1% whole wheat pretzel when he’s feeling edgy, .5% oatmeal, and something percent plant material (this math is getting difficult).

And now, an algebraic word problem:

If a baby, traveling eastward at 60 miles per hour and growing up way too fast, ingests 2.5% solid food, what percentage of his diaper region will be made up of real person poop?

The answer: All of it.

All of it, 100%, and isn’t that bizarre? How does that happen? It makes no sense. I swear, it’s like, two bites of human food, and BAM: PERSON POOP.

Feel free to commiserate with me in the comments.

Or you can tell me how lucky I am that my baby only poops once a week these days. (Mostly breast milk means it’s still A-OK to only poo on occasion. It’s like being on a diaper vacation!) (I have never written the word “poo” so many times in one location before.)

Or you can say “You just wait until–” but please note that saying that will only make my teeth hurt.

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### About the Author

Natalie

natalie holbrook is a hopeless optimist and prodigious over-exaggerator living in a tiny apartment in new york city with her husband brandon and her fat baby henry august (they call him huck). she blogs at natthefatrat.com, a love letter from her family to new york city, and where she capture all the lovely little things that make up a wonderful life.

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## 8 thoughts on “The Math Behind Person Poop”

1. Rhonda says:

Oh but yes just wait! I hated hated hated changing poopy diapers. Especially once he started eating all those wonderful solids.

2. Shannon says:

Omg! That’s what they need to tell you about breastfeeding! It equals less poopy diapers! I totally would have breastfed longer!

3. Susannah says:

This is off topic but – oh fer cute! – this photo of Huck is killing me. What a charmer!

4. Melanie says:

Have you tried just giving him real food (not jarred)? My daughter won’t eat “baby food” but loves whatever we are eating. I know you aren’t In any rush with solids, just a thought!

5. m.j. says:

I was going to say just you wait before I read that part, so I will just say you’re lucky he only poops once a week. My son has pooped every day of his life (no joke) since the day he was born!

6. Robyn says:

I got my baby a little baby bjorn potty. Its so tiny! And since its pretty obvious when he needs to do his business, I just let him do it in there. I have changed very few messy dipeys as of late. We started at nine months old.

7. Janessa says:

My son just started regularly eating solids and immediately his diapers were GROSS! I often wonder how something so gross and stinky could come from someone so small and cute. One bonus–no more blowouts!

8. Tay says:

Janessa – hate to burst that bubble, but blowouts will come in the brown form. Sorry.

And, as I found out with my first, you can’t go back to just breastfeeding and get the baby poo back. It just doesn’t work that way and it will only make for a hungry baby.