For the six years I waited between Addie and Vivi I couldn’t bring myself to hold another baby, especially when I was pregnant. I wanted to hold my own baby. MY baby, the baby I didn’t have to give back or mind my manners with. My baby that I could smoosh and love and kiss and sniff and hold and swaddle and smell. Now that I finally got my baby and spend my days loving and smooshing the daylights out of her face, I’m ready to get my hands on a newborn.
The good news? My best friend is due any day now and my sister is due with her first in late March.
Gimme your babies ladies, I promise to give them back. Eventually.
Now that I realize how fleeting those newborn days are, especially the first ten days, I realize what an honor and privilege it is to be able to hold someone and something so new. While it was so hard to be away from family and friends I was so grateful that I didn’t have to share my new baby with anyone but the people who live with me and the very occasional visitor. I would never barge in on any old newborn demanding a snuggle, but for those few women who are closest to me…I look forward and relish the few moments I will have with their tiny newborns.
Easily my most favorite activity in the world is birthing babies. There is a certain power and joy that came with each of my deliveries and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to go through both experiences with my husband. My friend admitted yesterday that she isn’t looking forward to her delivery at all, while she may have fairly easy pregnancies, she has yet to have a super easy delivery. I will have the high honor of being there again to photograph the arrival of her fourth, her second little boy, when he decides to enter into this world.
When I was in the deep dark throes of anger and bitterness from infertility I was unable to see what an absolute miracle babies joining new families are. Whether they come by adoption, c-section, or the ol’ vaginal canal, a baby joining a family is truly one of the greatest things that can ever be experienced. I do hope I get to do it again someday, but if not? I will continue to revel in the joy of others and the joy my own babies brought me on their birth days.