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When Does "I Just Had A Baby" Expire?

By EmilyBMalone |

He's not looking like much of a newborn anymore...

At nine months postpartum, I can look back and say that motherhood has changed me far beyond what I ever could have imagined. I have mellowed. I’ve let go of so much control. I swear the size of my heart has quadrupled. But one less endearing change? I have become the queen of excuses.

I didn’t have time. He didn’t take a nap. He hates his stroller. I need the calories for breastfeeding. And one of my personal favorites – I just had a baby!

But…did I? I don’t think Webster includes a time limit next to the definition of “just” but I’m guessing I exceeded it long ago.  

The thing is, having a baby IS totally and completely life changing. That’s not to say you can’t get (somewhat) back to your old life eventually, but it definitely doesn’t go back to the way things were. And when I find myself presented with parenting challenges, I often find myself babbling this excuse as if I haven’t had nine months to get my act together.

It’s not like I would show up at labor and delivery, contracting and ready to go, and marvel – but I just got a positive pregnancy test! – right? Right. I think at nine months the novelty of newness has more than tarnished.

At the same time, I’m surprised that there are times when I still feel like a new mom, floundering and flailing to survive the most challenging days. And there are little postpartum reminders – like my hair still falling out and my smooshy stomach – that make me feel like delivery day really wasn’t all that long ago.

What do you guys think? What is the expiration date on saying you “just” had a baby?

I’m guessing if the baby you “just” had has started walking, you’re out of excuses…  Oops!

Read more from Emily on her personal blog Daily Garnish, where she creates healthy vegetarian recipes, recaps her latest running adventures, and chronicles life as a new mom to her son and two crazy dogs.  You can follow along on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest too!

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About EmilyBMalone

emilybmalone

EmilyBMalone

Emily Malone shares her adventures in cooking and parenting on her personal blog, Daily Garnish. Read bio and latest posts → Read Emily's latest posts →

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7 thoughts on “When Does "I Just Had A Baby" Expire?

  1. Marci says:

    I catch myself in this excuse a lot too. Our baby is 5 months old, and I think “just” expired at three months. I use it most often about grocery planning and an excuse that I didn’t have time to plan and cook dinner.

  2. Sally Mae says:

    Oh my god. Thank you so, so much. At 8.5 months post partum I sort of feel like I’m in AA when I meet people, “Hi my name is Sally and I just had a baby.” Yes my hair is still falling out, I have huge bags under my eyes, still can’t sleep that well, and every time something changes with the baby (um, like getting those top two teeth!) I’m totally thrown for a loop. I know I’m doing about as best I can, and some things have gone back to normal, but I think I’ll still going to be reeling in all of the major life changes until he’s a year old. Then, look out because we are headed straight towards toddler hood! Oh Emily, I love your posts. Thank you. :)

    http://www.simplesallymae.blogspot.com (for some super cute baby pics!)

  3. Stephanie says:

    It’s kinda funny you posted about this. I catch myself saying now… I just had a baby….8 months ago. I am aware that I did not “just” have a baby, but at the same time, it is still so new to me (yet it feels like I would never know what it would have been like without him at the same time). So, I do think it’s time that I stop saying “I just had a baby”…. it’s just a hard thing to let go of I guess :S

  4. Josie says:

    Love Love Love your blog
    At 8.5 months I feel the same way :/
    But I think you Are put together, you run a house, take care of a breast feeding baby and have 2 awesome blogs, eat healthy no meat and also look fit :) so maybe things aren’t the same for you as they were, seems to me they are better, and many women look up to you for advice for that same reason

  5. Jessica says:

    Too funny-I have a 10 month old and just started wondering when I’m no longer a “new mom”. Everything about being a mom is new to me, I mean just because I mayhave been at it for 4 years doesn’t mean the first time she says something totally embarassing in public won’t be a learning experience!! I’m going for the full year and then I’ll try to give it up as an excuse. I’ve followed you since the beginning of your pregnancy and you always speak my language ;-)

    http://www. fruitfulpursuits.blopgspot.com

  6. PottyMouthMommy says:

    So does this mean that 11 years is too long to still say “but I just had a baby”??? Kidding! (sort of)

    Having kids of any age is exhausting and I’m still learning how to parent. And then I went and had two more babies and I’m RE-learning everything, because all of these kids are so totally different. My two year old hates sleep, my third is the only boy and seriously- how the hell are there people who think changing girls’ diapers is harder?? I have been peed on more in the last week than I’d ever thought a person could even GET peed on without having a fetish for it. Point is, milk the “I just had a baby” for all it’s worth. Soon enough it will turn into “my toddler just REFUSED to do anything this morning”. Then “it took FOREVER to drag lazy-bones school-ager out of bed this morning”… etc etc etc…

  7. Charity says:

    After my first, I didn’t really feel 100% back to normal until he was about a year old. You’re not just recovering from the delivery, but the nine months of pregnancy, and hormones take a while to regulate. Then you have to account for the lack of sleep, strain from carrying around and lifting your growing baby…. I’d say it’s a legitimate reason for a year or so. :)

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