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When Is It Time to Boot Baby From Your Room?

By caseymullins |

When we had Addie we were living in a tiny one bedroom apartment so the only place for her to be was in the bedroom with us. We moved when she was six months and she moved into the room next to ours. She never slept more than a wall away from us in 5 years. Enter Vivi. She has been rooming in with us since she was born and the discussion has started (by my husband, NOT ME.) about when to boot the baby to her own room.

But here’s the thing, her room is down a hallway, through the loft and ALL THE WAY on the other side of the house.

My argument back to him is always “she’s so leeeeeeedlllleee!” Wondering if he could really handle having his tiny little baby in the giant crib ALL THE WAY over on the other side of the house. It’s certainly not a comfort factor, the rocking chair in her room is absolutely divine (and chartreuse!) Her crib is amazingly fantastic and the room is set up perfectly (black out blinds, ceiling fan, thermal curtains, night light, sweet mobile, changing table, video monitor…seriously, the nursery I never had with Addie.) The truth is she’s sleeping for much longer stretches at night and there’s technically no reason why she needs to be in our room aside from one big one.

I want her in there.

I like looking at her when I get up to pee. I like hearing her little night grunts. I like that I only have to walk eight steps to get my morning gummy grin and leg thump.

I know I could look at her through the video monitor but it’s not the same (and truth be told video monitors make sleeping babies look, well, creepy.) I know for a fact this maternal instinct I have (that Cody clearly doesn’t have) will let me know when it’s time for baby to pack her swaddling blankets and move down the hall.

How about your family? Co-sleepers until college, baby with the bathwater or somewhere in the middle?

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About caseymullins

caseymullins

caseymullins

Casey Mullins is a writer, photographer, and nice person living in Indianapolis with her two little girls, husband, and a one eyed cat. She writes regularly at her personal blog moosh in indy and can be found trolling local bakeries and napping whenever possible. Read bio and latest posts → Read Casey's latest posts →

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22 thoughts on “When Is It Time to Boot Baby From Your Room?

  1. lo says:

    Guilty guilty guilty :-) . I had my girl almost three years ago and she slept on her crib right next to my bed. When I got pregnant with my son we talked about giving her a new room and keeping the baby in our room. Somewhere around month 7 of pregnancy we decided that not only she will keep sleeping in our room but also she will stay in her bed and the baby will have a new one. And I have enough rooms in my house to have two more babies. But my husband is with me in all this although I KNOW it has to end soon. And I agree for video monitors, they make sleeping babies look strange.

  2. Jessica says:

    My oldest was in his own room by three months. HOWEVER, there was a daybed in the room that I slept on till he was 7 months old. Hey, he was my first, and I couldn’t stand being away from him! lol He’s almost 4 now and sleeps great in his own bed, in his own room. My new little guy is 5 1/2 months old and has been in his own room since about three months also, and there is no bed in there for me. :( But I am much more relaxed about it this time and the video monitor does help (though yeah, he looks a little spooky on it). I think you should do whatever feels right to you. If you move her now and just lay there worrying the whole night, what’s the point?

  3. Elissa says:

    I don’t know the answer yet. When I was pregnant I was determined that he would be out of our room by one year, but he’s eight months now and the only move he’s made has ben from the bassinet to our bed. We’re starting to encourage him to spend at last part of the night in his cot (still in our room). Still, it turns out that he’s one of those sensitive little souls who likes cuddles to sleep (and boobs on tap, but that’s another matter). So, I’m thinking it might take a bit longer than his first year afterall, but I’d still like to be in the mid-range for moving him out.

    Your nursery sounds awesome, but I agree that it sounds like a long way away. I’m sure you’ll know when it’s right for you to make the move. As Dr Sears says, the best sleep arrangement is the one in which all family members get the most sleep. So, there’s no point moving her if you’ll be kept up worrying. Goodluck!

  4. Amanda says:

    My son only slept in our room his first night home from the hospital. My husband and I quickly realized that it would be a lot better if he was in his crib in his own room and only one of us had to wake up and tend to him, as opposed to turning on the lights in our room and disturbing the other person too. We still keep both bedrooom doors wide open, though, so we can hear him pretty easily if he wakes up in the night, and he’ll be one on Friday.

  5. BC says:

    I don’t have the answer either! My son sleeps in bed with us and he’s six months old. I plan on nursing for at least another 6 months and unless he starts sleeping through the night then he’ll stay right where he is. I’m torn, too. I kind of WANT him to start sleeping in his own bed (crib) but I also don’t want to be away from him. He sleeps best with us and I have decided to enjoy this time in our life because we won’t get it back. He’ll be sleeping in his own bed before we know it and I’ll be wishing he was my little baby again.

  6. joanna says:

    My six-month-old is still in bed with us- I haven’t even made him move to the pack & play that’s been set up next to our bed since he was born. One of these days, when he sleeps through the night and I won’t have to get up & walk across the hall multiple times to feed him, he’ll be in his crib. Until then, I’m really, really enjoying the snuggles.

  7. Elissa says:

    @Amanda, I know it’s none of my business, but a good trick that I’ve picked up is to leave all the lights off at night, using only a low wattage night light or a tea light candle if necessary. It seems to help convince baby that it’s boring old night time still and we get back to sleep faster.

  8. Voice Of Reason says:

    Oh yeah, Amanda, I’m with Elissa. We never used any lights (lights send the wake-up hormones surging, making it hard for both baby and parents to get back to sleep).

  9. lala says:

    I moved Ellie into her own room at six months, but Grant just got his own room at four months this time around. The first few nights, I had to pad down the hall to his room to nurse, but the last few nights (I hope I don’t jinx this!) he’s slept 10-11 hours on his own.

  10. Naomi says:

    No answers, still co-sleeping with a 10.5 month old. No plans to stop until he can sleep in bed with his brother.

  11. Jessica says:

    My baby was out of my room at 6 weeks and we were fine with it, BUT her room is right next to ours and with both doors open I can hear her just as clearly as if she were in my room. I believe in doing what makes you sleep best. I miss my little one at night and have tried bringing her into bed because of it, but I don’t sleep at all when she is in my bed and neither does she. I don’t know if its just because we didn’t co sleep from the beginning but its too close for me to relax enough to rest. I’m worried about squishing her. I envy co sleeping mamas sometimes, but other times not at all bc I get so much rest. She slept through the night by 2 months and at 6 months she sleeps 12 hrs at night. I think her own crib is part of the reason why.

  12. Megan says:

    My oldest was in a heirloom cradle in our room until he was about 6-8 weeks old. He started sleeping through the night (6-8 hours) about then so we moved him. I had read in numerous books and been told by my ped to get him in his own room by 4 months if we wanted an easy transition to him sleeping alone. Older than that and he would most likely fight the change. My dughter who is now 6 months old has been in her own crib from the first day home from the hospital. My husband and I had slept much better after our son moved to his own room and we decided to do it from the start. It may just be coincidence, but she slept through the night both earlier(3 weeks) and for a longer period of time(8-10 hours at 3 weeks, since 4 months 10-13 hours).

  13. Sherry Carr-Smith says:

    We have a two bedroom apartment. Our 6-year-old son has slept in his own room since he came home from the hospital (or on my chest with us in the recliner if his asthma was bad). Our 16-month-old son is in his crib, but he’s in our room because his big brother is a super light sleeper. As soon as we have a bigger space or the little guy sleeps through the night, he’s outta here! I will miss watching him wake up when he’s had a good night’s sleep. I will not miss watching him wake up when I get back in bed after going to the bathroom. A house full of light sleepers does not make for a rested family.

  14. Jacquelyn Sheridan says:

    I am still bedsharing with my 22 month old. He has his own room (well technically, we just moved into our first house with 3 rooms- ours, my sister is renting out one, and the other –which would be my son’s room– is being used as an office/playroom). I cant imagine him sleeping anywhere else.. but once my sister moves out (which should be by october) we will set his room up to be his little boy room, and hopefully it wont be too hard getting him to sleep there.
    I am still nursing as well, and he nurses twice a night. I’m planning on weaning him soon, so the transition from our bed to his isnt too rocky.
    Here my blog if you’d like to read more about our family:
    http://www.TheNotSoBareNecessities.blogspot.com

  15. sarah says:

    we coslept with my son until he was 8 mo. old, with him in a cosleeper attached to the side of our bed. even then, the only reason he went to his own room was because we discovered that his horrible sleeping was due to us. he’s a super light sleeper, and so would wake up or stir whenever we’d come to bed, move around in bed, or get out of bed. we experimented to see if we were the problem by putting him in the cosleeper like usual one night, and sleeping (with the video monitor next to us) in a room right next door. he slept MUCH better without disruption from us. cue me being sad, and at 16 mo, even though he sleeps much better in his own bed, i still miss having him next to me.

  16. Marie Green says:

    With our babies, we keep them in our room for about 6 months. At that time, we start putting them to bed in their own room, but once they wake up during the night, they sleep with us for the rest of the night. (I’ve yet to have a 6mo that sleeps all night every night.) Actually, even before 6mo, I start putting them down for naps in their crib, so they are used to sleeping there, at least for short times.

    Around a year or so, we start having “rules”… like if baby wakes to nurse before 4am they have to go back to their own bed when done, after 4am they can stay with us. For us, our kids have always transitioned to their own bed/crib fine, so that by the time that *I* want them out, they are already out…

    I’d say as long as you want her there, she should stay. Our other sleep motto is “sleep where everyone can sleep”, which means different things at different points in a baby’s life. Sometimes that meant co-sleeping, sometimes that meant one of us sleeping in the guest room and one sleeping with baby, sometimes it meant we all slept in our own beds… Just as long as we were all as rested as possible, we accepted whatever arrangement was working at the time.

  17. Green Eyes says:

    Having to go to the other end of the house everytime the baby cries sounds like a giant pain in the youknow. Do what you need to do.

  18. beckster says:

    All three of my kids co-slept the first year and we have had no issues with transitioning to a bed. Never even bought a crib.

  19. Jenny says:

    2 weeks. I was such a light sleeper that I still heard (video was crazy expensive then) every lovely, little noise all the way down the hall with the doors open. He bunked with us and by himself over the years. Fast forward 7 years and I still wake up to find him in the middle every now and then.

  20. Jenny says:

    I wanted to transition my son into his room around 4 months, he had been sleeping through the night for over a month, but I didn’t want to let him go. I tried one night and it lasted until about midnight when I took back into my room and put him in bed with me lol Eventually around 6 1/2 months he was sleeping in his room every night. he does great in there. He still cries on some nights when I put him in there, but it is only for a minute or 2 until he realizes how tired he is! I always go in and look at him before I go to sleep and some nights I still let him sleep in my room with me either in his pack and play or snuggled up in my arms.

  21. Kellan says:

    I co slept with my boy until he turned a year old. That’s when I started the sssllllooooowww transition from my bed to his playpen, which was at the foot of my bed. I’m going to do the same with my daughter, since my fear of SIDS is the main reason I co-sleep in the first place (I also prefer it, their lovely little bodies all snuggled up next to mine for their first year of life…nothing beats that! Well, nothing, except their growth, smiles, & lovin’s). As for booting out of the room? I’d wait until you were comfy with the idea. if you’re not comfortable with it, you’ll be up all night, & that defeats the idea of enough sleep before it has a chance to start! Have a serious discussion with hubby: maybe if he more fully understands your feelings, thoughts, & motives, he’ll do his part by working with y’all. But also keep in mind it’s his bed too, so maybe a different solution can be brought up (some people I go to church with actually slept in their kid’s rooms until the kids hit 9 or 10 – wife with the girl, hubby with the boy). Figure out an arrangement you’re both happy with that is also good for Vivi, & everyone will be fine. :)

  22. Nadah Valadanzouj says:

    My son Emrys is 8 months old, and unfortunately, he STILL sleeps in bed with mommy and daddy. I wanted him to sleep in his crib in his own room from day one, but Justin wanted him to sleep with us because Justin’s younger brother had a lot of problems when he was little, and Justin remembered the stress it caused him. I said that one night would turn into the rest of our lives, and so it has. Emrys refuses to go to bed, unless it is with us, and unless we go to bed too. I’m pregnant with our second child, and there’s no room in our bed for all 3 of us anymore. I’m not going to make the same mistake that Justin made with Emrys, so this next baby is going to sleep in its crib from day one. But since we only have a 2 bedroom apartment and Justin’s brother Kenny lives with us, both of the kids will be sleeping in our room. That is, until we move. Try them out in their own bed in your room at first if you like, and then move them to another room when you feel comfortable being away from them.

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