Where Are All the Workplace Mommy Bloggers?
Wanted: A workplace mom's perspective
There is no shortage of mommy bloggers in this world. We are here and we are mighty. There are thousands upon thousands of women who have found their voice in sharing the joy, struggles, and everything in between of raising children on the internet, but pick ten mommy blogs at random to read and you’ll notice something almost immediately – only one or two out of the bunch are written by women who work outside the home.
I am one of those women, and yes… I know we exist. I count several working mom bloggers as friends, but we are greatly outnumbered in the blogsphere. I really started to think about this when I went on maternity leave. I had arranged for a group of blogger friends (all of them mamas) to share a day in their life in words and photos on my blog. I’m always fascinated by the similarities and distinct difference in family dynamics and enjoy seeing how other women raise their children. But I kept getting a request from my readers “Where is the working mom’s perspective?” asked one. “I’d really like to read one of these that follows a mom who doesn’t get to stay at home with her children” said another.
Huh. Even as a working mom myself, I’d never really thought of it. I did have a few working mother’s lined up to share a day in their lives, but the vast majority of some of my favorite mommy blogs are written by stay at home or work from home moms.
A month passed and a TV affiliate out of San Francisco contacted me. They were looking for a workplace mother to follow for a day for a story they were doing. I informed them I was no longer living in California and they asked me if I could recommend someone to them. I turned to Twitter and asked if any of my 4,000 plus followers were living in California, worked outside the home, and were interested in participating in a cool TV spot. I got one response. ONE!
I recently rejoined the workforce and posted my own Day in the Life post on my personal blog, Dear Baby. I wanted to share a little perspective on what an average morning and day looks like for me. (Basically, a lot of email & conference calls, a few texts home to check-in, and a pumping session in a locked conference room). The vast majority of my photo editing, blog writing, and other blog related engagements take place in the late evening after my children are asleep and my husband has passed out on the couch beside me. It’s a challenge to get it done most days, but it’s something I truly love and enjoy.
So why are we a minority? I’d blame it on available time – but I learned really quickly on my last three months of maternity leave that just because you are home with your children doesn’t mean you have time to blog. I found it almost more challenging to blog during my time off then I did when I was working 9-5 every day. The fact of the matter is that almost all moms are insanely busy with chock-full schedules - be they in the workplace or in the home. And I know for a fact that moms who work outside the home are certainly reading blogs – So why aren’t they writing them?
I’m curious for your personal perspective on this topic.
~Melissa
I am a new stay at home mom of a 10 week old. 11 week old? Something like that. Two and a half months at any rate. Anyway.
I can think of two reasons off the top off my head. The first is that a stay at home mom may not have more free time than a mom with full time employment, but she probably has more empty time. Like, I’m nursing my baby seemingly around the clock, and while that makes it difficult for me to physically do anything (including blogging, but so far I haven’t even figured out how to read a paperback), it does leave me lots of mind wandering tine, where I can play with Blogpost ideas, and I can even do some simple photo editing. I’m betting this “empty” time changes some as he gets older, but my sense is that parenting a small child will always have some space for day dreaming?
The other reason is that I suspect working moms have less need for blogging. They see and interact with other grown-ups all day… I only connect with other grown-ups online, in the evening when my husband gets home, or through painstakingly planned out “outings.”
BTW… why did babble stop linking blogs in the comments? Since this is a post about blogging, :-p here’s mine:
http://hadesarrow.com/blog
I agree with Meagan on both her points. I have more opportunity to blog when I’m home, even if I’m busy, because it’s a different kind of busy than when I’m at work. And I started blogging to feel connected to the world when I was trapped at home during my husband’s deployments. When I’m at work I’m less desperate for adult communication. If I worked outside of the home every day, I would have to rethink my commitment to my blog, because time would be that much harder to come by.
(And I also miss the follow back option on the comments. I used to find so many interesting blogs that way!)
I think it’s a guilt thing. I want to be home with my kids, so when I come home from work I don’t want to be blogging. Then, if I do it when they are sleeping, I feel guilty for taking time away from my husband. I know I don’t usually like to do things unless I do them well. If something has to go because of a crazy schedule I feel guilty if it isn’t blogging. I think as moms we always give up what we enjoy first if it means other things get done. Not right, but how I feel sometimes.
I worked outside of the home 5 out of the 7 years I’ve been blogging but I’m not sure I would be able to do it now with 2 kids. I think it comes down to attention span. I just couldn’t focus on 2 kids, the house, my job, my husband, friends, family AND a blog. For me one thing had to give and it was my outside of the home job. Thankfully, I was able to make that choice because my blog does supplement our income but if it didn’t, the blogs would have had to go or at least be posted to much, much less.
I am a working mother and I blog on pumping breaks thanks to my hands free pump. Pictures aren’t as plentiful however. But it is difficult to find the time as you work, and you want to spend the time home with your baby, and your hubby. I try to load pictures on the weekends. http://www.jackpjarrett.tumblr.com
Another working mom blogger here. Right now I’m pumping and typing this. I actually come in to work early in the morning so I can take time to blog. I can edit photos in the evening. But I only have one child who goes to bed at 7 which leaves a lot of time. My husband does the cooking and I do dishes. Neither of us do the cleaning. For now this works but down the road? I can tell you for sure I’ll be posting less but I love it so I don’t see myself giving it up. It’s a wonderful reflective outlet.
The workmom bloggers are @ workingmother.com/blogs where we have a full and robust discussion of @work and @home — it may or may not be balanced, but it’s certainly life as we know it — and we can all continue to learn from each other!
I’m a workplace mom and always have been! My 2 co-bloggers and I started Mamalaw.com 5 years ago to share our stories of being moms who are lawyers. I totally agree that the vast majority if mom bloggers are SAHMs.
My blogs and social media business (Blogalicious) were all built in the wee hours of the night after a full day at the office and after the kids are asleep. It’s been exhausting, but a labor or love and a great outlet for me.
Also check out the Work It! Mom community for other workplace mom perspectives.
Aaaaand I’m launching a lifestyle company for working moms in the spring:
http://justicefergie.com/index.php/justice-fergie-lifestyle/
Thanks for writing this post!
I’ve been doing it for more than five years.
Why do so few moms-at-work blog?
1) They’re busy
2) They’re not lacking community the way at-home moms often are
3) Blogging well is a lot of freaking work.
http://mom-101.com
There are tons and tons of working mom blogs – they just aren’t as well known as the ones you probably have heard of, because they don’t spend as much time trying to promote their blogs, I’m sure. (I’m certainly not bashing promoting your blog or trying to earn money for it – it’s just not something I have time for right now) I am a working mom who blogs, and I follow several, most of which I’ve found just from them leaving comments on my own blog. However, I’ve never participated in any of the lists, or tried to get sponsors or ads, and I suspect the same is true of many working mom blogs – they are just a bit harder to find.
Erin
http://erinkristine.blogspot.com/
As a working mom with 4 kids (and 4 dogs!) here’s my take on things.
Time: For one, a working mom typically takes on more than what’s humanly possible. Yes, we get things done although often at the expense of our own health/self-care. Finding time to blog, while therapeutic and rewarding may not be as crucial a priority as our other 100 things we must do by the end of each day.
Focus: Another reason we may not be blogging as often as we like is that when we’re home, it’s typically when our kids are home as well. I don’t know about you but it’s sometimes impossible to concentrate on forming a coherent sentence with kids and dogs with their own agendas.
Guilt: I think “Toxic Mom Guilt” is within almost every mom. When we’re working we feel guilty we’re not with our families and when we’re home, we feel we should be getting more done at work. That said, when we’re home, blogging may feel like a “guilty pleasure” we don’t feel comfortable treating ourselves to.
Whatever the reason, blogging can give us that perspective, reassurance and acknowledgment we need to know that we’re not alone in all this and there are others, just like us, who can benefit from reading how we manage our busy lives!
Go Debi – read The Mojo Coach! http://www.workingmother.com/blogs/mojo-coach
We have a full online community of working mother bloggers at Working Mother Magazine (www.workingmother.com) and a variety of issues that face us each and every day as we balance, juggle, dance, cry, laugh, love, live and work. Don’t forget to take a look at the many articles in this month’s magazine that inspire, support and encourage us to support each other as working mothers.
Here’s a working mom post I enjoyed and also likely explains why there are fewer working mom bloggers
http://softwaremommy.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-in-life-of-working-mom-with-2-young.html
I’ve been blogging for quite awhile. It was originally a knitting blog. Then crafting/ daily life blog. And now since the birth of my daughter 4 months ago, it’s morphed into a baby blog/ crafting blog/ working mom blog.
I work full-time outside of the house as an attorney. I’m the primary breadwinner of our family so there is no choice for me to stay at home. I’m hoping to blog more in the coming months about the struggles of working outside of the home and balancing everything else in my life, most importantly my baby and family.
I welcome comments/ readers/ followers!
http://www.acraftybalance.com
I am a work outside the home, new to blogging,( http://www.momsvent.com ) mother of three. I don’t disagree with the above post about working mothers taking on a lot, but I also stayed home with my children when they were younger and those who stay home and work don’t have time to take for “themselves” either. I believe that is a Mother thing. We have a problem with sacrificing all of our time if it makes things easier for our family. I’m not sure if that will ever change.
I am a new blogger and working mama, mother to two little girls. I started blogging as a way to keep track of my girls and our busy lives but was very surprised that most of the blogs I was finding were written by SAHM. I love these ladies and their blogs so much but I find myself yearning to connect with other women in my same situation. I have found several ladies (including you, Mel!) that I can relate to, but not many. People often ask me how I find time to blog while also working full time and I tell them it’s all about time management and prioritization. I don’t watch much TV, I write instead. I set aside a little time each day to get my thoughts down, post a few photos, because it’s therapeutic to me. It’s my time to express myself and unwind and that is important to me. There is not a lot of spare time at the end of the day but it is important to MAKE time to do productive, creative things. Our girls have an 8 pm bed time and those few hours thereafter are for my husband and I to reconnect, read, play guitar, write, whatever floats our mental boat.
Yours has always been one of my favs because you have an incredible balance between career and family and that is what we’re all trying to achieve here. I want to feel productive and creative but also love to the absolute fullest!!!
I’m a new mom and am blogging because it is more like an online scrapbook for me. I work full time and just blog when I can. I don’t worry if I don’t have a new post to go everyday. I do it when I can and enjoy it. Happy Blogging!
http://www.amandasblessedlife.blogspot.com
I just started one a couple of months ago, where I write about being a first-time mom at 40, among other things I want to get off my chest:
http://www.typepad.com/scattergad
I have no idea if there is any truth behind this or not, its just a thought. So please don’t hate me for saying this. But, I think a lot of the moms that stay at home are so in tune with their kids that they want to write everything down and share it with others and they are so proud of every little milestone. It takes a special kind of woman (or man) to have enough patience to be a stay at home parent. That is why they blog, they love every minute of it and never want to forget. I thnk a lot of working moms have kind of lost touch with their children, they have babysitters and childcare raising their kids. They miss a lot of the babies firsts, first steps, first words, first everything. And they may feel bad about this. So what would they write about? Sure, they have evening and weekend experiences with their kids buts its not the same as being there with the kids 24/7. I know a lot of working moms that get babysitters on the weekends too, so they can get away and have free time. Who knows if this is the case, just a thought.
Sorry! That’s http://www.scattergad.typepad.com
Geeze! I can’t even put in a link to my own blog right!
Also, I am a working mom with a wonderful 8 month-old boy.
Although I stay at home now, I am a licensed school counselor who has a blog. So I use to work, go to grad school, and blog. Now I stay home but I “work from home”. I am a virtual assistant and make money blogging. I’m still looking for a counseling position though.
http://www.counselormom.com
A successful mom blogger is a constant internet presence. (Usually.) She’s on Twitter many times a day. She’s networking/reading/commenting on other blogs. She’s posting multiple times per month. She’s responding to comments and engaging her readers. It takes a lot of time and a lot of work.
It’s easier for a SAHM to stay online than a working mom. Her computer time isn’t being watched by a boss (or blocked from social media all together), she can tweet from her phone at any time, and she can multitask her daily work with blogging.
I’m a working mom at a great company that doesn’t hound me about internet usage, and that’s the only way I can stay involved in mom blogging.
http://www.ravingsofamadhousewife.com
I think Jessica is off base in her comment about working mothers. I stay home in the summers and teach during the school year. The summer was fun, but I didn’t feel vastly more connected or present with my child compared to our relationship during the working year. I miss being with her all day, but I love her just as much when I am teaching all day and our relationship is fundamentally the same. There is so much more to a child/parent relationship than whether the parent works or not. My husband and I both marvel over our daughter’s words, development, and growth, and we are both at work from 8-4. I keep a small private blog for my family–which was updated much more this summer because I had tons more free time (during naps, nights not spent preparing to teach). To suggest that working parents aren’t “in tune” with their children is pretty offensive and just plain untrue.
Jessica- You’re kidding right? Please tell me you’re kidding! Working moms may not be home 24 hours a day, but they certainly aren’t missing out on all of their children’s milestones and special moments. As a working mom who writes an entire blog devoted to my children, I beg to differ that “we don’t have anything to write about.” I also was there for my daughter’s first word, her first steps, and her first bite of people food. To my knowledge, I haven’t missed any of her firsts (and my husband stays home with her so I would know if she did something while I was at work) I think it’s offensive and really narrow minded to make such a blanket statement about working moms. We’re all doing the very best can to provide for our families. I know a lot of working moms and I don’t know a single one who ships her kids away on the weekend to a babysitter – most of us are hungry for every minute we get to spend with our children. I don’t know what kind of working mother you are using as the base for your argument, but I assure you that she is not the norm.
They may not be blogging in the number that SAHM’s are, but it’s not for a lack of love and subject matter!
Wow, Mellisa you really put a lot of my thoughts into words. Such a great topic for discussion. I stayed home with my two boys 7 & 8 for seven years. I have been back to work for exactly one year. I blogged a lot more when I stayed home. I think I was actively taking photos every single day and engaged in a lot of “activities” with the boys. My husband is now the stay at home parent who is also homeschooling as we gave up private Montessori so one of us could be home with them. He is not so great at the photos and documenting the day. (Are there any stay at home dad blogs?) I have found when I am with my kids now I do not want to use as many drops of energy taking blog pictures with my big Canon. I just get a few iphone shots to tuck in my pocket of memories. My time with them is so precious I almost do not want to share. As they are getting older I am just falling more in more in love with them. So proud of the men they are becoming and so lucky they have this time with their amazing father. I really love blogging and reading blogs. I just suppose now I would rather spend the time getting to bed a little earlier so I can get up while the house is quiet to exercise, prepare for work and give my guys hugs before I leave. I have energy left to waste the evening away with my guys. If I am up late blogging I do not get enough rest and compromise the time I have the next day with the kids and am lacking at work. I am kind of sleep dependent. I am still trying to find my balance which may take a very long time. Right now I just see those boys growing up so fast. I really love your blog so please keep representing for the working moms. My kids are 14 months apart so I remember so much of what you are going through right now. I do not even have a baby and I like reading your baby articles here. You seem to be doing a great job balancing it all!
I’ve been working in and out of the home part-time for years, and it’s amazing how much more time you can sneak in during your on at home days Still, much of my blogging has always been at night, after the kids are in bed, no matter how busy I’ve been at work and juggling kids all day. A lot of bloggers I know have turned their blogs into businesses, so they are really SAHM’s any longer. But you’re right, there are not many fulltime working mom bloggers. I don’t think that my fulltime working mom friends could squeeze anything more into their days, unless they’re passionate about blogging.
Another working mom blogger here! When I first went back to work 6 months ago, I really had a hard time leaving my 1 year-old (I know I should appreciate having a full year of paid leave- go Canada!- but it was still so hard) and looked to the blogosphere for support. And you know what I found? nada, zero, zilch! I’m so happy to discover that there are other moms who work and blog, cant wait to check out everyone’s blogs!
p.s. here’s mine: http://mamasgotwanderlust.com/
I am a work out of the home blogging mama. I cherish the moments I have with my daughter and cried for weeks after having to leave her because I had to go back to work. I am currently pregnant with #2 and I will have to repeat the cycle all over again. Some moms HAVE to go back to work. By no fault of their own.
My bond with my sweet girl is like no other and working has not effected that in the least. I feel as if it will be the same with the one on the way. I find time to blog after T goes to bed and I relish in the words I type because it helps me relive the moments I do get to spend with her. Like Melissa, I want to eat up every second I have because those moments are so precious.
For me, it’s toeing that very, very difficult line between vulnerability on the internet & losing my job.
I’m a little surprised nobody has brought up the idea of being “dooced” for what you say on social media. While I do not write about my actual job, my clients, what I do, I am very wary of disclosing too much about working. What if I have a horrible day where I rant about how hard it is, how I wish I could quit, how my boss doesn’t understand because his wife was a stay-at-home-mother – & what if my boss reads it? I’d love to write about how I was late to work because the kid woke up covered in diarrhea & I stumbled in 30 minutes late, but then I spent 20 minutes on the phone with the pediatrician…if he ever fired me, that could be evidence for cause.
While I think there is a desperate need (at least for me) to find comraderie in workplace mothers, I think that it makes us too vulnerable as employees.
http://theheirtoblair.com
Just wrote a post inspired by you over on MomCrunch! http://blogs.babble.com/momcrunch/2011/08/17/representing-for-the-workplace-mom-bloggers/
Also started a Twitter list of working mom bloggers:
http://twitter.com/#!/justicefergie/workingmombloggers
We’re here. And we’re awesome.
Wow! Thanks so much Melissa for writing this post! I have pretty much abandon my blog because I felt like I couldn’t relate since all the other mom bloggers stay home. I went back on and wrote a post in reaction to yours. Keep blogging and I hope all of us working moms will come out from hiding.
http://9to5andmotherhood.blogspot.com/
I’m a workplace mom blogger.
http://jodifur.com/
I’ve been reading Dear Baby for some time now and the main reason I keep coming back to it is because it is written with heart, not necessarily because I can relate to it more as a working mommy blogger myself.
I do feel that there are many unrepresented groups of moms out there, for example, minority moms. I am hard pressed to find other moms with the same ethnic/cultural background as I do who blog. I have to agree with some of the other commenters here, the blogs for every kind of mom are out there, but there are not necessarily represented in the “Top Baby Blogs/Top Mommy Blogs” sites. Those (which, btw, I thoroughly enjoy reading) are often compiled of gorgeous mamas and their equally gorgeous babies captured in stunning photography (I am impressed at the photo talent the moms possess!) who have a flair for the artistic, and are almost always…well…white women.
http://lilzbear.com/
When I was a corporate attorney at a large law firm, I did think about starting a blog. I really did. But I didn’t for two primary reasons:
1) Time. Of course, I could have found time. But between long hours at work and trying to spend time with the kids, when I did have time, I wanted to sleep. Or watch reality TV.
2) Honesty. I wanted my blog to be sincere, open, and forthright. I wanted it to reflect my sincere daily thoughts. Some of those daily thoughts involved disdain for my job and the amount of time it sucked out of me. Obviously, it would not have been wise to divulge those thoughts and remain employed.
So what did I do?
I quit. And I started a blog.
http://www.butidohavealawdegree.com
I’ve been a blogger longer than I’ve been a mom, but now that I’m both, my blog definitely feels it. In fact, I have TWO blogs! And a full time job, plus I help manage my husband’s business. This is made possible by the fact that my husband stays at home, I’m required to read blogs as part of my job, I utilize my lunch break REALLY well, and my bedtime is a good 4 hours after my son’s.
Of course, that leaves mostly room for 1)writing my own blog 2)reading other blogs and…not a lot else. I don’t have the time to promote myself the way a lot of other bloggers do. So I wonder how many other working moms are out there, writing, and don’t know how to connect…
http://rambleramble.com
I am a pretty new blogger, 6 months. I work outside the home. To me blogging is my creative outlet and my opportunity to vent and have a sounding board. It is more beneficial to me than anything else.
The con is that it takes time. I also blog late at night while hubby is napping on the couch. I do feel that I can’t keep up with the “cool” blogging opportunities, the Whirlpool moms etc, that it seems like are all stay at home moms. There needs to be a sub category of mommy bloggers of working mommy bloggers. Our lifestyles, habits, parenting skills and tactics, etc are different from those who stay home.
http://www.crawfishtales.com
I ve been searching just for this topic…. I’m interested in reading working mom (out of the home) blog that focuses on healthy eating, fitness and of course being a mom…so glad to find this post, was recommended to check out babble.com from Kath of Kath eats real food blOg. Love her blog!
I’m a working mom in the social work field. I have been following you on dear baby for almost a year now and have found encouragement knowing that someone else had a similar situation (my daughter is 20 months old). I attempted to start my own blog but found it challenging to keep up with regular entries because of my crazy schedule but also lacked inspiration from other mama’s who were working, so I gave up and just enjoy reading some of my favorites (yours being one of them). I think working mom’s get a bad rap. I obviously know that women on both sides get criticized but I think people are more vocal about their distaste towards working moms, maybe that has something to do with it?!
Anyways thank you for sharing your stories and I really enjoy your writing
I am about to go back to work after maternity leave, and have been trying to find blogs by working (outside the home) moms to follow as a I winnow down my regular internet reading to a manageable amount. Because here’s a thing: I have a lot more time to read and write while at home with the kiddos than I will when I’m back at work. Not that staying at home with kids isn’t work–it totally is–but there is, as mentioned in comments above, a fair amount of time when your mind can wander and slightly more free time. Housework gets done while the baby is in the sling or moby. Once I am back at work, any free time that isn’t spent actively engaged with the kiddos will be spent on housework, errands, bill paying, etc. The little time left over will likely go to trying to keep back issues of the New Yorker from taking over my living room.
I also agree that when home you NEED an outlet to interact with adults, whether my writing on the internet or joining mommy groups, or both. Back at work there’s lots of adult interaction…and also, at least for me, a pressure to be current on the news and culture of the day. I can’t fall weeks behind on the news or I’ll be unable to participate in the conversation.
I work 9-5 and have a 45 minute commute. Realistically that means I have about 90 minutes per day to accomplish all the housework and read. That doesn’t leave time for writing, except on the weekends.
I actually just started a website for working moms in Connecticut, but really, the blog posts are for all working moms. Check it out if you’re interested:
http://www.ctworkingmoms.com
I work full-time outside the home, and blog, and am a mama to a totally adorable 12 week old little dude who hangs out with dad during the day. And I blog during breaks at work BECAUSE it helps me process and reflect and be more intentional about the balance in my life between all those roles. My blog isn’t intended to capture every little moment of my guy’s life, so much as things I’m thinking through/learning/dealing with. It’s cathartic, and I think, helps me be a better mom/wife/employee/human because it gives me a little bit of time during the day to actually process and reflect on all the awesome and/or challenging things going on in my life.
http://shoudlbethebeginning.wordpress.com
Working Mom Blogger here! Just came across this post…. I have two little ones and while it takes time to write and manage a blog while working full-time outside of the home… I love it! I enjoy connecting with moms from all over the world and supporting them. We support one another.
If I saw your tweet in August, I would have let you know. They were just in my backyard!
http://bepositivemom.com
Great post!
I am less than a month until I go back to teaching from my maternity leave (We lucky canucks get a year) – I am excited and sad all at the same time (see my “reflective post” here – http://www.funkylindsay.com/2012/01/the-next-chapter/
I’ve been blogging since 2003 (starting out as a livejournal update of sorts, to crafts to teaching, to wedding planning, to baby) and hope to continue after I go back to work!