Even though we’re not anywhere close to trying or ready for number two, I can’t help but think about what life will be like once Cullen (hopefully) becomes a big brother.
As it is now, I’m a big celebrator of firsts. No milestone is too big or too small to get a big round of applause and cheering from mom and dad, usually accompanied by me frantically running for the video camera. It can be big things like sitting and climbing, or little things like using a pincer grasp or taking a boat ride. These aren’t just firsts for Cullen, they are firsts for us - as parents. So I wonder, now that we’ve been through these earliest stages of parenting, will they feel as special and significant the next time?
It makes me sad to think that our next baby won’t be as celebrated, and the milestones won’t be as exciting. But I supposed he or she will also have a unique set of firsts – first time doing things with a big brother around! And it will be our first time watching children interact as siblings. Makes me teary just to think about (oh the postpartum hormones…).
We both really more children, but it’s also hard to imagine introducing anything else right now that will change the balance and the dynamic of what we have with just Cullen. Although prior to having him, I was nervous that I wouldn’t have enough maternal instinct to take care of even one baby. Seven months later, he is my world, and I think I’m a pretty darn good mom. So I assume when seconds and thirds are born, nature once again flips some sort of switch in us, and we moms figure it out all over again day by day.
We’re not close to feeling ready for number two just yet, but I think family planning is something that is always in the background. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t imagine it being anything other than just me and Casey. A young couple so in love – we traveled, we ran marathons together, we went out to dinner at 10pm – and for a long time I didn’t want anything to change that.
Our world is entirely different now, and while I loved what we had before, I can’t anything but what we have now. I hope that when it comes time for our family to change and expand once again, we’ll find ways to make firsts seem new and fresh the second time.