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Wipe Out!

By Natalie |

In a moment of extreme genius and/or sheer exhaustion, tonight I used a baby wipe to take off my make up. Sure, it’s probably not the greatest for my skin, but you can’t fight with convenience now can you?

And now that I’m eating a lot of chocolate and it’s well past midnight, I am becoming aware of the fact that baby wipes are, in essence, the world’s perfect invention. Think about it! Think of all of the things a humble baby wipe can accomplish! Imagine all the things you could do!

After the jump, my special list of things I’ve done with baby wipes. You should be proud of my ingenuity. I know I am.

1. Clean yo baby’s bottom! Look, I know this one is fairly obvious.

2. Clean bottoms that do not belong to yo baby! Yes yes, when you run out of toilet paper, a baby wipe is much kinder than a napkin.

3. Spot clean your clothes after your Nutella toast gets a little messy.

4. Wipe up spit up. Especially as your baby gets older and the spit up is less milk and more curd? Gross. You need some extra bonus chemicals when that happens.

5. Dust your credenza. This is the only way my credenza gets dusted.

6. Clean your baby’s nose. You need somewhere to shoot those boogs once you’ve successfully cleared air passageways with those boog suckers, don’t you?

7.  Wipe down the bathroom when company is coming over and you weren’t expecting to have to do chores for at least another day or so.

8. Sponge bathe your baby on nights when bath time just isn’t happening.

9. Clean up the mess in the fridge after that can of Diet Coke mysteriously exploded the other day.

10. Do you have dogs? Have you ever heard of this thing called a “dingleberry?”

11. Really messy take out cheeseburgers demand really awesome super cleaning napkins. Basically wet naps for red meat.

12. Clean out a particularly gruesome knee scrape.

13. Roll patrol! With one wipe you can tackle the elusive wrist roll, the dreaded behind-the-knee roll, and still have room for entire colonies of neck cheese.

14. Clean off kitchen counter tops.

15. Wipe down Sophie the Giraffe for the millionth time after your dog has snuck her away to his cave under the bed.

16. Achieve super hero status. You know, when your girlfriend’s baby has a blow out and she’s all out of wipes, and you go, “Oh! I have some!” and then just like that you’ve saved the day?

17. Clean spilled pasta sauce off the floor.

18. Wad up three or more to make an impromptu cool compress.

19. Do the dishes. Just kidding.

What else have you used a baby wipe for? Now’s the time to brag.

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About Natalie

natthefatrat

Natalie

Natalie Holbrook is a hopeless optimist living in a tiny apartment in New York City with her husband Brandon and her fat baby, Henry August. She blogs at Hey Natalie Jean, a love letter from her family to New York City, and where she capture all the lovely little things that make up a wonderful life. Read bio and latest posts → Read Natalie's latest posts →

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11 thoughts on “Wipe Out!

  1. mattie says:

    haha…dingleberries! one reason i will never have dogs. i use baby wipes for everything. when my kids are out of diapers, i’ll probably buy them anyway. they’re really useful for when i spill food on my pregnant belly (which happens pretty much every meal). my grandma used them for grass stains. she had four boys and she swore by the baby wipes for football uniforms. my sister (who doesn’t have kids yet) uses baby wipes to achieve the perfect eye-liner line.

  2. Carina says:

    Cleaned my car console and drink holders
    Done spot cleaning on the toilet
    Wiped down light switches
    Cleaned the disgusting Window track (magic removal of bugs and dirt!)
    Shined up the chrome on my vintage dinette set
    Dusting goes without saying, right?

  3. Julie says:

    Sooooooooo have used them to remove makeup. Speaking as a gothic, nothing is more effective at taking off the liquid eyeliner, white face powder, and black lipstick. Funnily enough, I prefer cloth wipes for my kid’s butt though. They work better in that capacity. LOL

  4. Rachael Jablonski says:

    I have 3 kids who are all potty trained now (thank goodness) and I still buy baby wipes. They work well on sticky kid hands and mouths. Plus they work really well to clean sneakers and shoes! Super great invention. Right up there on my list alongside those buttons on the inside of pants for my skinny-minnie kiddos who can’t keep their pants up. :)

  5. Kate says:

    Cleans my computer screen like a charm!

  6. Steph says:

    Pretty much they clean everything cleanable in my house. Including my armpits this morning when I realised I wasn’t going to get a shower in. Also great for spot cleaning the couch and spills on the rugs. And the car console as someone said already. And the dinner table – after you’re done wiping pasta sauce off the baby you wipe down the table and you’re done!

  7. e.d. says:

    Adore the ingenuity. My baby is 33, YIKES! Impossible, I’m a mere 42. BUT, I still have baby wipes around. Extraordinary invention, I agree.

  8. ameliacbd says:

    Give em to our kids to clean the leather sofa, and laminate flooring. My daughter who was about 18 mos at the time to the opportunity to also use them to clean her head. We have video evidence which I will use as blackmail in later years.

  9. mindy says:

    mmm… to remove acrylic paint (while still wet mind you), but still reminiscing about days i’ve had with the “neck cheese”. my, i almost forgot about those days!

  10. Jacquelyn says:

    I am most ashamed to admit this, but hopefully I am not the only one. When it’s necessary to freshen up in public situations I have used a baby wipe to take care of that yucky sweat-meets-deodorant smell (I, of course, do this in private). You know the one, the mixture of B.O. and Cool Rain or Spring Flowers or whatever scent you prefer. It works like a charm.
    J

  11. Angie says:

    Great for cleaning those crayola bathtub crayons off the tub!

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